Comedy is all about the pause.
RON WHITEMy opening acts are always really strong because I need a guy who can take on a big, big crowd. Which is not that easy to do.
More Ron White Quotes
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I don’t do talk shows or go on Dr. Phil’s show. He’s a friend of mine, and, no, he doesn’t give me any advice. He doesn’t give solicited advice.
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I write all of my material. It’s all me.
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I had the right to remain silent… but I didn’t have the ability.
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I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
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Mother, she likes the blue material just fine.
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People are saying that I’m an alcoholic, and that’s not true, because I only drink when I work, and I’m a workaholic.
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I would have rather been beat by a plumber than Kathy Griffin.
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All of my comedian friends are some of the best joke writers in the world.
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Anything I write that I consider stage-quality work, I won’t give my TV show. I put it in my live show.
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We always go out looking for live music after our shows.
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TV is a hard job. You work 15 hours a day. People tell you what to do. I hate to do it.
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I don’t think we have a surplus of fine educators in this country that we can just start dropping them for no reason whatsoever.
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I write these shows one joke at a time. There’s no continuity. I do try to figure an order to the stories, but there’s not continuity.
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My favorite bands are the Allman Brothers and Red Hot Chili Peppers.
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I begged the universe to make me a famous comedian, and it did. So I tend not to ask for any more.
RON WHITE