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My opening acts are always really strong because I need a guy who can take on a big, big crowd. Which is not that easy to do.

Ron White

Comedy is all about the pause.
RON WHITE

Al Comedy Pause
I don’t do talk shows or go on Dr. Phil’s show. He’s a friend of mine, and, no, he doesn’t give me any advice. He doesn’t give solicited advice.
RON WHITE

Advice Friend Go Mine Show Solicite Talk
I write all of my material. It’s all me.
RON WHITE

All Material Me Write
I had the right to remain silent… but I didn’t have the ability.
RON WHITE

Ability Remain Right Silent
I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
RON WHITE

Believe Lemon Life Party Somebody Try
Mother, she likes the blue material just fine.
RON WHITE

Blue Fine Just Like Material Mother
People are saying that I’m an alcoholic, and that’s not true, because I only drink when I work, and I’m a workaholic.
RON WHITE

Alcoholic Drink People Say Work Workaholic
I would have rather been beat by a plumber than Kathy Griffin.
RON WHITE

Beat People Plumber Rather Would
All of my comedian friends are some of the best joke writers in the world.
RON WHITE

Best Comedian Friend Joke Some World Write
Anything I write that I consider stage-quality work, I won’t give my TV show. I put it in my live show.
RON WHITE

Anything Consider Live Quality Show Stage Television Work
We always go out looking for live music after our shows.
RON WHITE

After Always Go Live Look Music Out Show
TV is a hard job. You work 15 hours a day. People tell you what to do. I hate to do it.
RON WHITE

Day Hard Hate Hour Job People Television Tell Work
I don’t think we have a surplus of fine educators in this country that we can just start dropping them for no reason whatsoever.
RON WHITE

Country Start Drop Education Reason Surplus Think
I write these shows one joke at a time. There’s no continuity. I do try to figure an order to the stories, but there’s not continuity.
RON WHITE

Continuity Figure Joke Little Older Show Story Time
My favorite bands are the Allman Brothers and Red Hot Chili Peppers.
RON WHITE

Band Brother Chill Favourite Hot People
I begged the universe to make me a famous comedian, and it did. So I tend not to ask for any more.
RON WHITE

Beg Comedian Famous More Tend Universe

My opening acts are always really strong because I need a guy who can take on a big, big crowd. Which is not that easy to do.

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My opening acts are always really strong because I need a guy who can take on a big, big crowd. Which is not that easy to do.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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