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Our job is improving the quality of life, not just delaying death.

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I had sex with a prostitute when I was 21, I was so bad, she gave me a refund.
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If it’s the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?
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You treat a disease, you win, you lose. You treat a person, I guarantee you, you’ll win, no matter what the outcome.
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The idea of having a steady job is appealing.
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Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they’ve got nothing to lose.
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Comedy is acting out optimism.
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I was an only child. I did have kind of like a lonely existence.
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Spring is nature’s way of saying, ‘Let’s party!’
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The truth is, if anything, I’m probably addicted to laughter.
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Cocaine is God’s way of telling you you are making too much money.
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What’s right is what’s left if you do everything else wrong.
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Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.
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Please, don’t worry so much. Because in the end, none of us have very long on this Earth. Life is fleeting.
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If we’re going to fight a disease, let’s fight one of the most terrible diseases of all, indifference.
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To be free. Such a thing would be greater than all the magic and all the treasures in all the world.
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Golf is a game where white men can dress up as black pimps and get away with it.
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