Humour Quotes

Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.

The computer was born to solve problems that did not exist before.

I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb – and I’m not blonde either.

In the end, everything is a gag.

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.

I generally avoid temptation unless I can’t resist it.

Whenever I feel the need to take some exercise I lie down until the feeling goes away.

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

Doctors put drugs of which they know little into bodies of which they know less for diseases of which they know nothing at all.

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.