I had a friend who had two degrees of being made up: when invited I would say ‘Can I make up?’ and he would say ‘Oh yes – tinted?’, or he would say, ‘Oh yes – clotted?’
QUENTIN CRISPThe search for a life-style involves a journey to the interior. This is not altogether a pleasant experience, because you not only have to take stock of what you consider your assets but you also have to take a long look at what your friends call “the trouble with you.” Nevertheless, the journey is worth making.
More Quentin Crisp Quotes
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In England, nobody’s your friend.
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Ask yourself, if there was to be no blame, and if there was to be no praise, who would I be then?
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What my parents thought of this, I don’t know. But they bore it. And the real problem was not my sin, but my unemployability.
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You will survive if you believe in yourself.
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The war between the sexes is the only one in which both sides regularly sleep with the enemy.
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The measure of woman’s distaste for any part of her life lies not in the loudness of her lamentations (these are only an attempt to buy a martyr’s crown at a reduced price) but in her persistent pursuit of that occupation of which she never ceases to complain.
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It’s no good running a pig farm badly for 30 years while saying, ‘Really, I was meant to be a ballet dancer.’ By then, pigs will be your style.
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Fashion is what you adopt when you don’t know who you are.
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Believe in fate, but lean forward where fate can see you.
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In England, the system is benign and the people are hostile. In America, the people are friendlyand the system is brutal!
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Manners are a way of getting what you want without appearing to be an absolute swine.
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You can’t be a person and a lady. If you’re a person, you can open the damned door yourself.
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The British do not expect happiness. I had the impression, all the time that I lived there, that they do not want to be happy; they want to be right.
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If you truly love me, kill the bartender.
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Never get involved with someone who wants to change you
QUENTIN CRISP






