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Abatement in the hostility of one’s enemies must never be thought to signify they have been won over. It only means that one has ceased to constitute a threat.

Quentin Crisp

When I was young, we thought that Oscar Wilde was a great nobleman who had thrown his life away for love. Nothing could be less true. He slept with East Enders who were procured for him by Lord Alfred Douglas.
QUENTIN CRISP

Away Great Life Love Nobleman Oscar Through Throw Wide Young
Ask yourself, if there was to be no blame, and if there was to be no praise, who would I be then?
QUENTIN CRISP

Ask Blame No Praise Then Yourself
Vice is its own reward.
QUENTIN CRISP

Own Reward Vice
I don’t like peas, and I’m glad I don’t like them, because if I liked them I would eat them and I hate them.
QUENTIN CRISP

Eat Glad Hate Like Peas Them
Health consists of having the same diseases as one’s neighbors.
QUENTIN CRISP

Consist Disease Health Neighbour One Same
People say to me, “When did you come out?” But I was never in! When I was about six, I was swanning around the house in clothes that belonged to my mother and my grandmother which I’d found in an attic, saying, “I am a beautiful princess!”
QUENTIN CRISP

Around Beautiful Cloth Come Dis Grandmother House Mother Out People Princess Say Six Swan
In England, nobody’s your friend.
QUENTIN CRISP

Country Friend Nobisy One Liner Your
The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we hold of ourselves with the appalling things that other people think about us.
QUENTIN CRISP

Appalling Existence Glow Opinion Other Ourselves People Purpose Reconcile Thing Think
A fair share of anything is starvation diet to an egomaniac.
QUENTIN CRISP

Anything Egomaniac Fair Share Starvation
He knew them only ‘in Braille’ – the curtains were never drawn back in the rooms in Oxford where he met those boys. It was the most sordid life you can imagine. And he was bleating about love and dragging the fair name of Mr. Plato into the trial – after a life like that?
QUENTIN CRISP

Back Bleat Curtain Drag Drawn Life Love Name People Person Room
I asked a girl who came from America to England, when I was only English, and she admitted she had been to a drama school. And I said, “What did they teach you?” And she said, “They taught me to be a candle burning in an empty room.”
QUENTIN CRISP

Admit Ask Been Burn Came Candle Country Drama Empty English Girl Out Room School She Taught Teach
There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn’t get any worse.
QUENTIN CRISP

At All Housework Need To Do
I went out into the world when I was about 22. I wrote books and I illustrated books and did book covers, and I taught tap-dancing, and I was a model in the art school. I had no ability for any of those things, but what else could I do?
QUENTIN CRISP

Ability Art Bool Cover Dance Illustrated Model School Tap Taught Tow Twenty Went World
What my parents thought of this, I don’t know. But they bore it. And the real problem was not my sin, but my unemployability.
QUENTIN CRISP

Bore Know Parent Problem Real Sin Thought Unemployability
I like living in one room and have never known what people do with the room they are not in.
QUENTIN CRISP

Know Love never One People Room
If you truly love me, kill the bartender.
QUENTIN CRISP

Bartender Kill Love Truly
Mainstream people dislike homosexuality because they can’t help concentrating on what homosexual men do to one another. And when you contemplate what people do, you think of yourself doing it. And they don’t like that. That’s the famous joke:
QUENTIN CRISP

Another Concentrate Dislike Help Homosexually Mainstream Men One People
Manners are a way of getting what you want without appearing to be an absolute swine.
QUENTIN CRISP

Absolute Appear Get Manner Swine Want Way
It’s no good running a pig farm badly for 30 years while saying, ‘Really, I was meant to be a ballet dancer.’ By then, pigs will be your style.
QUENTIN CRISP

Ballet Big Dancer Farm Go Meant Pig Really Run Say Style Thirty Year
It is explained that all relationships require a little give and take. This is untrue. Any partnership demands that we give and give and give and at the last, as we flop into our graves exhausted, we are told that we didn’t give enough.
QUENTIN CRISP

All Explain Give Little Relationship Require Take Untrue
Believe in fate, but lean forward where fate can see you.
QUENTIN CRISP

Believe Can Fate Forward Learn See You
You don’t have to deal with anyone in America. They accept you the way you are.
QUENTIN CRISP

Accept Anyone Country Deal Way
I was amazed to receive later a substantial sum for sitting in my room and talking about myself. If only I could get some of the back pay!
QUENTIN CRISP

Amaze Back Later Myself Pay Recieve Sitting Som Substantial Sum Talk
I’m happy to say she was laughing while she said it, but she meant it. I’ve never learned to be a candle burning in an empty room. So I go on the screen, and I say whatever I’m told to say.
QUENTIN CRISP

Burn Empty Happy Say Laugh Learn Meant Room Said Told
I have to realise that as I am only English and am allowed to live in America, I have to give something in return. And since I cannot build a hospital, or endow a university, I can only give my infinite availability.
QUENTIN CRISP

Allow Availability Build Country English Hospital Only Realize Return Since Something University
The happiest moments in any affair take place after the loved one has learned to accommodate the lover and before the maddening personality of either party has emerged like a jagged rock from the receding tides of lust and curiosity.
QUENTIN CRISP

Accommodate Affair Before Happiest Learn Love Lover Maddening Moment Personality Place Take
It’s a strange situation, but people will pay your fare to get you to go and tell them how to be happy.
QUENTIN CRISP

Build Fare Happy Pay Situation Strange Tell

Abatement in the hostility of one’s enemies must never be thought to signify they have been won over. It only means that one has ceased to constitute a threat.

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Abatement in the hostility of one’s enemies must never be thought to signify they have been won over. It only means that one has ceased to constitute a threat.

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Popular Authors

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