Everybody in the Middle East wants to explain why they’re right.
P. J. O'ROURKESome people have facts; these can be proven. Some people have theories; these can be disproven. But people with opinions are mindless and have their minds made up about it.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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Feeling good about government is like looking on the bright side of any catastrophe. When you quit looking on the bright side, the catastrophe is still there.
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The best and brightest don’t go into politics. The best and brightest are at Goldman Sachs.
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Political leaders are expert at saying nothing.
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Wealth is not a pizza, where if I have too many slices you have to eat the Domino’s box.
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The weirder you’re going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person.
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The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.
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You can’t get rid of poverty by giving people money.
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When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.
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Adam Smith’s huge failure was the fact that he did not foresee the industrial revolution.
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The body is forever teaching us lessons. There are all sorts of things that we can’t do, shouldn’t do, had better not do very often or do for too long as we get older. The body makes its presence known.
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People will tell you anything but what they do is always the truth.
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Don’t send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals, when their cheery effect is needed.
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The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn’t work and then they get elected and prove it.
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I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a ‘learning experience.’ Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I’ve done as a ‘learning experience.’ It makes me feel less stupid.
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My dad died when I was young; my mom remarried with more haste than sense to a fellow… he wasn’t evil or anything, but he was worthless.
P. J. O'ROURKE