Politics is the attempt to achieve power and prestige without merit.
P. J. O'ROURKEThere is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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Everybody in the Middle East wants to explain why they’re right.
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Mikhail Gorbachev was the Jimmy Carter of the Communist bloc. The Russians hate him.
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Preachers at black churches are the last people left in the English-speaking world who know the schemes and tropes of classical rhetoric: parallelism, antithesis, epistrophe, synecdoche, metonymy, periphrasis, litotes – the whole bag of tricks.
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If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat – in other words, turn you into an adult.
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Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
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Thank you, Occupy Wall Street. With your vivid example of anticapitalist squalor, I’ve been able to convince all three of my children to become investment bankers.
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The body is forever teaching us lessons. There are all sorts of things that we can’t do, shouldn’t do, had better not do very often or do for too long as we get older. The body makes its presence known.
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Liberals have invented whole college majors – psychology, sociology and women’s studies – to prove that nothing is anybody’s fault.
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Richard Nixon was the best thing that ever happened to journalism. I mean this guy was wonderful. Just when you thought he could get no worse, he got worse.
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Seriousness is stupidity sent to college.
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Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.
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I don’t even know which end of a computer one is supposed to gaze into. I’ve never used a computer.
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Just because a subject is serious doesn’t mean it doesn’t have plenty of absurdities.
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Some people think that welfare reform should have hurt Bill Clinton with black voters.
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Arab-led Islamic fundamentalism destabilizes nations from Algeria to the Philippines.
P. J. O'ROURKE