Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we’re looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn’t test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.
P. J. O'ROURKEThey are just really stupid people in Hollywood. You write them a script, and they say they love it, they absolutely love it. Then they say, ‘But doesn’t it need a small dog, and an Eskimo, and shouldn’t it be set in New Guinea?’ And you say, ‘But it is a sophisticated romantic comedy set in Paris.’
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them on us.
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The 20th century was a test bed for big ideas – fascism, communism, the atomic bomb.
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New Hampshire polling data are unreliable because, when you call the Granite State’s registered Republicans and independents in the middle of dinner and ask them who they’re going to vote for, they have a mouth full of mashed potatoes and you can’t understand what they say.
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The most brilliant satire of all time was ‘A Modest Proposal’ by Jonathan Swift. You’ll notice how everything got straightened out in Ireland within days of that coming out.
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Explosion of positive rights started in 1932 with the election of Roosevelt.
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A fundamental American question is, ‘What’s the big idea?’
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Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope.
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It’s better to make fun of yourself because you’ve always got someone around to make fun of, and they can’t sue you.
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Preachers at black churches are the last people left in the English-speaking world who know the schemes and tropes of classical rhetoric: parallelism, antithesis, epistrophe, synecdoche, metonymy, periphrasis, litotes – the whole bag of tricks.
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The people who despise America are the editors of the ‘New Statesman.’ Their green-card applications must have been turned down.
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There is no horizon in Toledo. There are too many trees.
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People are not ants or bees. We do not reason or love or live or die collectively.
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I’m too tough and sensitive to have to have some pubescent twerp with his mom’s earring in his tongue, who combs his hair with Redi-Whip and has an Ani DiFranco tattoo on his shin, come show me how a computer works.
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Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.
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Each child is biologically required to have a mother. Fatherhood is a well-regarded theory, but motherhood is a fact.
P. J. O'ROURKE