black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

They are just really stupid people in Hollywood. You write them a script, and they say they love it, they absolutely love it. Then they say, ‘But doesn’t it need a small dog, and an Eskimo, and shouldn’t it be set in New Guinea?’ And you say, ‘But it is a sophisticated romantic comedy set in Paris.’

P. J. O'Rourke

Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we’re looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn’t test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Alcohol Anyway Fundamental Look Source Tets Trouble
Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them on us.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Bureaucracy Dispose Dump Government Propose
The 20th century was a test bed for big ideas – fascism, communism, the atomic bomb.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Atomic Bed Big Bomb Century Idea Test
New Hampshire polling data are unreliable because, when you call the Granite State’s registered Republicans and independents in the middle of dinner and ask them who they’re going to vote for, they have a mouth full of mashed potatoes and you can’t understand what they say.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Independent New Poll Registered Republican Unreliable
The most brilliant satire of all time was ‘A Modest Proposal’ by Jonathan Swift. You’ll notice how everything got straightened out in Ireland within days of that coming out.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Brilliant Everything Midwest Most Notice Proposal Satire Straightforward Time
Explosion of positive rights started in 1932 with the election of Roosevelt.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Election Explosion Positive Right Started
A fundamental American question is, ‘What’s the big idea?’
P. J. O'ROURKE

Big Country Fundamental Ideas Question
Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Again Born Cow Dairy Hunt Make Scope
It’s better to make fun of yourself because you’ve always got someone around to make fun of, and they can’t sue you.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Always Better Fun Make Someone Sure You
Preachers at black churches are the last people left in the English-speaking world who know the schemes and tropes of classical rhetoric: parallelism, antithesis, epistrophe, synecdoche, metonymy, periphrasis, litotes – the whole bag of tricks.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Black Church Classical English People Preach Scheme Speak Troop
The people who despise America are the editors of the ‘New Statesman.’ Their green-card applications must have been turned down.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Association Card Country Desire Down Editor Green People Turn
There is no horizon in Toledo. There are too many trees.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Horizon Many Toledo Tree
People are not ants or bees. We do not reason or love or live or die collectively.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Ant Bee Collective Live Love People Reason
I’m too tough and sensitive to have to have some pubescent twerp with his mom’s earring in his tongue, who combs his hair with Redi-Whip and has an Ani DiFranco tattoo on his shin, come show me how a computer works.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Earn Earring Mom Pubescent Sensitive Some Tongue Toug Twerp
Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Animal Children Eat Exception Human Purpose
Each child is biologically required to have a mother. Fatherhood is a well-regarded theory, but motherhood is a fact.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Biological Child Each Fact Fatherhood Mother Requires Well

Related Topics

Popular Authors

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes