“America has to act. But, when America acts, other nations accuse us of being ‘hegemonistic’, of engaging in ‘unilateralism’, of behaving as if we’re the only nation on earth that counts. We are.”

Never fight an inanimate object.

Finland is a rich country. What have they got? They got Nokia phones and plywood. How’d they get so rich? Because they’re free.

Political leaders are expert at saying nothing.

They are just really stupid people in Hollywood. You write them a script, and they say they love it, they absolutely love it. Then they say, ‘But doesn’t it need a small dog, and an Eskimo, and shouldn’t it be set in New Guinea?’ And you say, ‘But it is a sophisticated romantic comedy set in Paris.’

Political systems are run by self-selecting politicians. We don’t draft people; it’s not jury duty.

Everybody is xenophobic to an extent.

Liberals have invented whole college majors – psychology, sociology and women’s studies – to prove that nothing is anybody’s fault.

There is only one thing that gives me hope as a Republican, and that is the Democrats. It’s going to be hard to do a worse job running American than the Republicans have, but if anybody can do it, it’s the Democrats.

You’re never going to read ‘The Wealth of Nations,’ and you shouldn’t, really. It’s 900 pages.

Bill Clinton is not a hypocrite. If a man believes that it is just and moral to redistribute wealth, there is nothing hypocritical in his attempts to redistribute some of that wealth to himself.

Let’s reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools – and use it on the teachers.

Supposedly, summer vacation happens because that’s when the kids are home from school, although having the kids home from school is no vacation. And supposedly the kids are home from school because of some vestigial throwback to our agricultural past.

The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore.

The people who despise America are the editors of the ‘New Statesman.’ Their green-card applications must have been turned down.

The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.

Wealth is not a pizza, where if I have too many slices you have to eat the Domino’s box.

How does Satan accuse us? By causing us to look at our sin rather than our Savior.

The act of revealing oneself fully to another and still being accepted may be the major vehicle of therapeutic help.

To accuse another of having weak kidneys, lungs, or heart, is not a crime; on the contrary, saying he has a weak brain is a crime.

To accuse another of having weak kidneys, lungs, or heart, is not a crime; on the contrary, saying he has a weak brain is a crime.

What becomes a crime deserving capital punishment when the tables are turned is a matter of small moment when the negro woman is the accusing party.

I’m being accused of being a murderer! I’M being ACCUSED of being a molester!

If O.J. had been accused of killing his black wife, you would not have seen the same passion stirred up.

You can’t accuse me of anything I haven’t already confessed to.