Though we may not desire to detect fraud, we must not, on that account, endeavor to be insensible of it, for, as cunning is a crime, so is duplicity a fault, and if men dread knaves, they also despise fools.
NORM MACDONALDA readiness to excuse some faults, shows a disposition to commit others.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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Hypocrisy is the outward acknowledgment of inward shame.
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I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.
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I don’t have any ambition.
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Ignorance is better than knowledge misapplied.
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He that searches for praise will often find contempt.
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All that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.
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When people told the audience that [Sam Kinison] was good, he was accepted after that.
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They say that if you’re afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you’re actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I’m afraid of dogs.
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During misfortunes, nothing aggravates our condition more, than to be esteemed deserving of them.
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Violent people usually express their love of a thing by their hatred of its opposite.
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You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don’t care for him.
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I’m thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.
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In estimating the adversities of life, we would seldom have much reason to complain of the evils we suffer, did we understand the dangers we daily escape.
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This would have been a great game to watch if we didn’t have any money on it.
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Ever see this? It’s a homeless guy but he’s got a dog… The dog’s really thrilled with this idea. The dog’s going, Hey pal, I can do this by myself pretty well. The longest walk in the world you got me on here.
NORM MACDONALD






