During misfortunes, nothing aggravates our condition more, than to be esteemed deserving of them.
NORM MACDONALDA readiness to excuse some faults, shows a disposition to commit others.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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Most men will go farther to give advice than to follow their own opinion.
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I can’t be naturalistic enough to make it sound real. So instead, I just wander around aimlessly knowing that I’ll be funny enough with stream of consciousness until I get to the actual explosively funny part.
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I don’t have any ambition.
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I don’t really like politics that much. And I like the order and simplicity of sports. They have an ending. You can argue with your friends about it, but in the end you still like sports. I almost love the fantasy world of sports more than the real world.
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Though you may be last to discover your follies, be always first to correct them.
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Instead of loving your enemies, have no enemies to love.
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You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don’t care for him.
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It is necessary to be tolerant, in order to be tolerated.
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In estimating the adversities of life, we would seldom have much reason to complain of the evils we suffer, did we understand the dangers we daily escape.
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All my life’s about is cracking up people and them cracking me up and trying not to think about dying. That doesn’t cost very much money.
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There are two indiscretions that generally distinguish fools: a readiness to report whatever they hear, and a practice of communicating with secrecy what is commonly understood.
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Ever see this? It’s a homeless guy but he’s got a dog… The dog’s really thrilled with this idea. The dog’s going, Hey pal, I can do this by myself pretty well. The longest walk in the world you got me on here.
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Some men are tempted to violate secrecy from the uneasiness secrecy gives them, and others, merely to impress you with the extent of their confidence.
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I want you to buy this pit bull. This will protect your valuables.’ I don’t own anything very valuable. If I buy the pit bull, that would be the most valuable thing I own. I’d have to buy something to protect it then.
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The praise we seek for our own virtues sometimes tempts us to flatter the imperfections of other men.
NORM MACDONALD