Being a New Yorker is never having to say you are sorry.
LILY TOMLINThe best mind-altering drug is the truth.
More Lily Tomlin Quotes
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There’s nothing sadder than getting to the end of your life and saying, ‘I didn’t do it right’.
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We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.
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If I had known what it would be like to have it all – I might have been willing to settle for less.
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What I appreciate is acknowledging to the audience that I think they have brains.
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Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.
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Lady, I do not make up things. That is lies. Lies are not true. But the truth could be made up if yo know how. And that’s the truth.
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To me, “sexual freedom” means freedom from having to have sex.
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After all, in private, we’re all misfits.
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If evolution was worth its salt, it should’ve evolved something better than ‘survival of the fittest.’ I think a better idea would be ‘survival of the wittiest.’ At least, that way, creatures that didn’t survive could’ve died laughing.
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If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
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When I’ve had a meltdown, people will say to me, “Well, you failed to keep your sense of humor.”
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Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
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Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
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If you can’t be direct, why be?
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You know being relevant or coming up with something interesting, funny to say about what’s current is just as hard as it might ever be depending on the serendipity of it all.
LILY TOMLIN






