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I think life is perverse. It can be beautiful, but it won’t.

Lily Tomlin

The phone company handles 84 billion calls a year-everything from kings, queens, and presidents to the scum of the earth.
LILY TOMLIN

Company Earth Name Phone Standard
Every day I read the newspapers, and no matter how cynical I get, it’s imposssible to keep up.
LILY TOMLIN

Impossible Myself News Reading
Being a New Yorker is never having to say you are sorry.
LILY TOMLIN

Place Sorry Yourself
I guess if people couldn’t profit from war I don’t think there would be war.
LILY TOMLIN

Myself People Profit Thinking War
Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest – then we can all die laughing.
LILY TOMLIN

Death Laughter Smart Survive Work
We are people with lives, not consumers with lifestyles.
LILY TOMLIN

Consumption Life Live People Style
Did you know, throughout the cosmos they found intelligent life forms that play to play? We are the only ones that play to win. Explains why we have more than our share of losers.
LILY TOMLIN

Form Intelligence Life Lose Play Share Space Win
Exercise is for people who can’t handle drugs or alcohol.
LILY TOMLIN

Alcohol Control Drugs Exercise People
After all, in private, we’re all misfits.
LILY TOMLIN

One Liner Privacy
If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?
LILY TOMLIN

Beautiful Funny Hairs Library Truth
Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination.
LILY TOMLIN

Feeling Imagination Myself
If evolution was worth its salt, it should’ve evolved something better than ‘survival of the fittest.’ I think a better idea would be ‘survival of the wittiest.’ At least, that way, creatures that didn’t survive could’ve died laughing.
LILY TOMLIN

Better Creature Death Evolution Laughter Survive Worth
Does your mind feel more and more like teflon? Nothing sticks to it?
LILY TOMLIN

Feeling Mindset Yourself
There will be sex after death, we just won’t be able to feel it.
LILY TOMLIN

Death Feeling Sex
I bought a box of animal crackers, but there was nothing inside. They’d eaten each other.
LILY TOMLIN

Animal Eat Food Funny Myself
My politics are just inclined to be empathetic and humanistic. I grew up with so many different kinds of people with different politics, different religion, no religion, no politics, education, no education, and I was infatuated with all of them.
LILY TOMLIN

Education Empathy Growth Human Kind Myself Politics Religion

I think life is perverse. It can be beautiful, but it won’t.

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I think life is perverse. It can be beautiful, but it won’t.

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