Did you know, in the entire universe, we are the only intelligent life forms thought to have a Miss Universe contest?
LILY TOMLINI can handle reality in small doses, but as a lifestyle, it’s much too confining.
More Lily Tomlin Quotes
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I personally think we developed language because of our deep need to complain.
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Don’t be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed.
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We don’t care. We don’t have to. We’re the phone company.
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Growing up in Michigan was fine, until I realized where I was.
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Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination.
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Every day I read the newspapers, and no matter how cynical I get, it’s imposssible to keep up.
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Exercise is for people who can’t handle drugs or alcohol.
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I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
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I worry about kids today – because of the sexual revolution, they’re going to grow up and never know what “dirty” means.
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Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.
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The phone company handles 84 billion calls a year-everything from kings, queens, and presidents to the scum of the earth.
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To me, “sexual freedom” means freedom from having to have sex.
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We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.
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I was always drawn to more the social-expression-of-culture types.
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People hire me to create some kind of archetype or some culture type, or something. I guess they accept whatever I come up with.
LILY TOMLIN