black
grey
blue
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We don’t care. We don’t have to. We’re the phone company.

Lily Tomlin

After all, in private, we’re all misfits.
LILY TOMLIN

One Liner Privacy
If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you’re not considered well viewed.
LILY TOMLIN

Book Hypocrisy Reading View Yourself
Well, if I can be of any help at all, you are in worse trouble than I thought.
LILY TOMLIN

Help Myself Thinking Trouble Worst
We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.
LILY TOMLIN

Believe Freedom Hands Man Reason Sex Walk
If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?
LILY TOMLIN

Beautiful Funny Hairs Library Truth
I wanted to be a stage actress. I wanted to be a New York actress and have a community with other actors. I didn’t want to get famous; I always thought getting famous was a drag on you.
LILY TOMLIN

Actor Community Famous Myself Stage Yourself
I bought a box of animal crackers, but there was nothing inside. They’d eaten each other.
LILY TOMLIN

Animal Eat Food Funny Myself
If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
LILY TOMLIN

Love Question Yourself
The best mind-altering drug is the truth.
LILY TOMLIN

Best Drugs Mindset One Liner Truth
If I had known what it would be like to have it all – I might have been willing to settle for less.
LILY TOMLIN

Fame Myself Settle Willing
Every day I read the newspapers, and no matter how cynical I get, it’s imposssible to keep up.
LILY TOMLIN

Impossible Myself News Reading
I guess if people couldn’t profit from war I don’t think there would be war.
LILY TOMLIN

Myself People Profit Thinking War
Exercise is for people who can’t handle drugs or alcohol.
LILY TOMLIN

Alcohol Control Drugs Exercise People
Did you know, in the entire universe, we are the only intelligent life forms thought to have a Miss Universe contest?
LILY TOMLIN

Form Intelligence Life Universe Yourself
Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
LILY TOMLIN

Collection One Liner Perspective Reality
People hire me to create some kind of archetype or some culture type, or something. I guess they accept whatever I come up with.
LILY TOMLIN

Acceptance Creation Kind Myself People

We don’t care. We don’t have to. We’re the phone company.

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We don’t care. We don’t have to. We’re the phone company.

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