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There will be sex after death, we just won’t be able to feel it.

Lily Tomlin

I bought a box of animal crackers, but there was nothing inside. They’d eaten each other.
LILY TOMLIN

Animal Eat Food Funny Myself
I worry about kids today – because of the sexual revolution, they’re going to grow up and never know what “dirty” means.
LILY TOMLIN

Children Dirty Myself Revolution Sex Worry
Did you know, in the entire universe, we are the only intelligent life forms thought to have a Miss Universe contest?
LILY TOMLIN

Form Intelligence Life Universe Yourself
After all, in private, we’re all misfits.
LILY TOMLIN

One Liner Privacy
Creating characters is just another way to express a type and put that type to use.
LILY TOMLIN

Creation Expression Type Way
We don’t care. We don’t have to. We’re the phone company.
LILY TOMLIN

Care Company Phone
I have always felt that humor was a wonderful vehicle to let us become connected with each other and ourselves; I try to portray the similarities and polarities in men and women, so that we can acknowledge and embrace our collective consciousness.
LILY TOMLIN

Collection Conscious Feeling Humor Vehicle Wonderful
Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
LILY TOMLIN

Complain Invention Language Man Satisfaction
Maybe if people started to listen, history would stop repeating itself.
LILY TOMLIN

History Listening People Repeat Start Stop
Did you know, throughout the cosmos they found intelligent life forms that play to play? We are the only ones that play to win. Explains why we have more than our share of losers.
LILY TOMLIN

Form Intelligence Life Lose Play Share Space Win
Language was invented because of the deep human need to complain.
LILY TOMLIN

Complain Human Invention Language
There will be sex after death, we just won’t be able to feel it.
LILY TOMLIN

Death Feeling Sex
If I had known what it would be like to have it all – I might have been willing to settle for less.
LILY TOMLIN

Fame Myself Settle Willing
Well, if I can be of any help at all, you are in worse trouble than I thought.
LILY TOMLIN

Help Myself Thinking Trouble Worst
When I am happy I feel like crying, but when I am sad I don’t feel like laughing. I think it is better to be happy; then you get two feelings for the price of one.
LILY TOMLIN

Better Cry Feeling Happiness Laughter Price Sad
Remember we’re all in this alone.
LILY TOMLIN

Alone One Liner Remember

There will be sex after death, we just won’t be able to feel it.

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There will be sex after death, we just won’t be able to feel it.

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