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There will be sex after death, we just won’t be able to feel it.

Lily Tomlin

I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.
LILY TOMLIN

Home Myself Teacher Thinking
I try to be cynical, but it’s so hard to keep up.
LILY TOMLIN

Hard Myself Try
It’s a more ridiculing, divisive humor today.
LILY TOMLIN

Change Comedy Humor Present Ridicule
In the depths of the night, fear grips my heart. It paralyzes my mind. But most of all, I feel very, very alone
LILY TOMLIN

Alone Feeling Heart Mindset Myself Night
The road to success is always under construction.
LILY TOMLIN

Construction Inspirational Road Success
What goes up must come down. But don’t expect it to come down where you can find it.
LILY TOMLIN

Expectation Philosophy Yourself
I worry about kids today – because of the sexual revolution, they’re going to grow up and never know what “dirty” means.
LILY TOMLIN

Children Dirty Myself Revolution Sex Worry
Even when I’m being funny, I’m deadly serious.
LILY TOMLIN

Death Funny Myself Serious
If evolution was worth its salt, it should’ve evolved something better than ‘survival of the fittest.’ I think a better idea would be ‘survival of the wittiest.’ At least, that way, creatures that didn’t survive could’ve died laughing.
LILY TOMLIN

Better Creature Death Evolution Laughter Survive Worth
Why is it that when we talk to God we’re said to be praying but when God talks to us we’re schizophrenic?
LILY TOMLIN

Deep God Hypocrisy Prayer Talk
I bought a box of animal crackers, but there was nothing inside. They’d eaten each other.
LILY TOMLIN

Animal Eat Food Funny Myself
If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?
LILY TOMLIN

Beautiful Funny Hairs Library Truth
Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
LILY TOMLIN

Collection One Liner Perspective Reality
I have always felt that humor was a wonderful vehicle to let us become connected with each other and ourselves; I try to portray the similarities and polarities in men and women, so that we can acknowledge and embrace our collective consciousness.
LILY TOMLIN

Collection Conscious Feeling Humor Vehicle Wonderful
If trying harder doesn’t work, try softer.
LILY TOMLIN

Hard Inspirational Motivational Perspective Soft Try
There’s so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic.
LILY TOMLIN

Culture Fabric Skin

There will be sex after death, we just won’t be able to feel it.

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There will be sex after death, we just won’t be able to feel it.

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