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I bought a box of animal crackers, but there was nothing inside. They’d eaten each other.

Lily Tomlin

We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.
LILY TOMLIN

Believe Freedom Hands Man Reason Sex Walk
The start to a better world is the belief that it is possible.
LILY TOMLIN

Belief Better Possible Start World
I guess if people couldn’t profit from war I don’t think there would be war.
LILY TOMLIN

Myself People Profit Thinking War
Infinity is just time on an ego trip.
LILY TOMLIN

Ego Infinity One Liner Time Trip
Success is a ladder that cannot be climbed with your hands in your pocket – The road to success is always under construction.
LILY TOMLIN

Construction Hands Ladder Road Success
If you can’t be direct, why be?
LILY TOMLIN

Direct Yourself
Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It’s the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.
LILY TOMLIN

Adult Country Election Hard Work
9 to 5 made people aware of equal pay for equal work. It hasn’t really happened, but it has come closer.
LILY TOMLIN

Equality Money Pay People Work
Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.
LILY TOMLIN

Leadership Reality Touch
Wouldn’t it be great if we all grew up to be what we wanted to be? The world would be full of nurses, firemen, and ballerinas.
LILY TOMLIN

Greatness Growth World
We don’t care. We don’t have to. We’re the phone company.
LILY TOMLIN

Care Company Phone
Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest – then we can all die laughing.
LILY TOMLIN

Death Laughter Smart Survive Work
There will be sex after death, we just won’t be able to feel it.
LILY TOMLIN

Death Feeling Sex
If I had known what it would be like to have it all – I might have been willing to settle for less.
LILY TOMLIN

Fame Myself Settle Willing
Maybe if people started to listen, history would stop repeating itself.
LILY TOMLIN

History Listening People Repeat Start Stop
If life is so meaningless, then why are we always bringing it up?
LILY TOMLIN

Hypocrisy Life Meaning

I bought a box of animal crackers, but there was nothing inside. They’d eaten each other.

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I bought a box of animal crackers, but there was nothing inside. They’d eaten each other.

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