I grew up in a very large family in a very small house. I never slept alone until after I was married.
LEWIS GRIZZARDI grew up in a very large family in a very small house. I never slept alone until after I was married.
LEWIS GRIZZARDYankees don’t understand that the Southern way of talking is a language of nuance. What we can do in the South is we can take a word and change it just a little bit and make it mean something altogether different.
LEWIS GRIZZARDYou call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, ‘What’s in it for me?’
LEWIS GRIZZARDThe game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.
LEWIS GRIZZARDI finally figured it out, I finally figured out how to find some peace and happiness. I sure would hate for the man upstairs to take me now. But at least I did figure it out.
LEWIS GRIZZARDThe idiot who invented instant grits also thought of frozen fried chicken, and they ought to lock him up before he tries to freeze-dry collards.
LEWIS GRIZZARDMoney doesn’t grow on trees, and if it did somebody else would own the orchard.
LEWIS GRIZZARDLife is like a dogsled race. If you ain’t the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
LEWIS GRIZZARDElvis is dead and I don’t feel so good for myself.
LEWIS GRIZZARDI know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence.
LEWIS GRIZZARDWhen My Love Returns from the Ladies Room, Will I Be Too Old to Care?
LEWIS GRIZZARDKinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck.
LEWIS GRIZZARDThere’s nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
LEWIS GRIZZARDThe only way that I could figure they could improve upon Coca-Cola, one of life’s most delightful elixirs, which studies prove will heal the sick and occasionally raise the dead, is to put bourbon in it.
LEWIS GRIZZARDToday’s sensitive male has learned to share in open frank discussions about relationships like, “Where the hell did you get a crazy idea like that? You been reading Redbook again?”
LEWIS GRIZZARDLife is a sexually transmitted terminal disease.
LEWIS GRIZZARD