Sex hasn’t been the same since women started enjoying it.
LEWIS GRIZZARDIf you are not the lead dog, your scenery never changes.
More Lewis Grizzard Quotes
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They tore out my heart and stomped that sucker flat.
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I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.
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There’s nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
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You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, ‘What’s in it for me?’
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Mama had an appreciation of the language. She taught me a love of words, of how they should be used and how they can fill a creative soul with a passion and lead to a life’s work.
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Life is like a dogsled race. If you ain’t the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
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If you are not the lead dog, your scenery never changes.
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I finally figured it out, I finally figured out how to find some peace and happiness. I sure would hate for the man upstairs to take me now. But at least I did figure it out.
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Baptists never make love standing up. They’re afraid someone might see them and think they’re dancing.
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It’s better to have died a small child than to be a politician who gets caught in a scandal during a slow news month.
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I grew up in a very large family in a very small house. I never slept alone until after I was married.
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It’s difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.
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When My Love Returns from the Ladies Room, Will I Be Too Old to Care?
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Life is a sexually transmitted terminal disease.
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The idiot who invented instant grits also thought of frozen fried chicken, and they ought to lock him up before he tries to freeze-dry collards.
LEWIS GRIZZARD