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I know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence.

Lewis Grizzard

They tore out my heart and stomped that sucker flat.
LEWIS GRIZZARD

Heart Myself
You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, ‘What’s in it for me?’
LEWIS GRIZZARD

Attitude Call Cat Dog Myself Yourself
There’s nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
LEWIS GRIZZARD

Dirty Hard Inheritance Reality Sex Yourself
The idiot who invented instant grits also thought of frozen fried chicken, and they ought to lock him up before he tries to freeze-dry collards.
LEWIS GRIZZARD

Fry Himself Idiot
If you are not the lead dog, your scenery never changes.
LEWIS GRIZZARD

Change Dog Leadership Yourself
I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.
LEWIS GRIZZARD

Alone Fact Family Marriage Myself Sleep
Money doesn’t grow on trees, and if it did somebody else would own the orchard.
LEWIS GRIZZARD

Farm Grow Money Tree
There is something wrong when you wait in line thirty minutes to get a hamburger that was cooked for ninety seconds an hour ago.
LEWIS GRIZZARD

Food Time Wrong Yourself
Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck.
LEWIS GRIZZARD

Animal Difference Sex
Life is a sexually transmitted terminal disease.
LEWIS GRIZZARD

Life Sexuality Sick
Spring time is the land awakening.
LEWIS GRIZZARD

Awaken Land Time
I get letters from people who say, ‘What have you got against women?’ What could I possibly have against women? I’ve married three of them.
LEWIS GRIZZARD

Letters Marriage Myself People Possible Woman
When My Love Returns from the Ladies Room, Will I Be Too Old to Care?
LEWIS GRIZZARD

Care Funny Lady Love Myself Old Room Time
Today’s sensitive male has learned to share in open frank discussions about relationships like, “Where the hell did you get a crazy idea like that? You been reading Redbook again?”
LEWIS GRIZZARD

Crazy Discussion Ideas Male Open Relationship Yourself
Elvis is dead and I don’t feel so good for myself.
LEWIS GRIZZARD

Death Feeling Goodness Myself
I know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence.
LEWIS GRIZZARD

Beyond Education Intelligence People

I know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence.

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I know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence.

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