Destiny is a good thing to accept when it’s going your way. When it isn’t, don’t call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.
JOSEPH HELLERWhat do you do when it rains?” The captain answered frankly. “I get wet.
More Joseph Heller Quotes
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Success and failure are both difficult to endure. Along with success come drugs, divorce, fornication, bullying, travel, meditation, medication, depression, neurosis and suicide. With failure comes failure.
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He was going to live forever, or die in the attempt.
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Insanity is contagious.
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There is no disappointment so numbing as someone no better than you achieving more.
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Prostitution gives her an opportunity to meet people. It provides fresh air and wholesome exercise, and it keeps her out of trouble.
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Remember that everyone deserves some fun during working hours.
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From men motivated by moral certitude, history teaches, no lasting good ever comes.
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Well, he died. You don’t get any older than that.
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Death to all modifiers, he declared one day, and out of every letter that passed through his hands went every adverb and every adjective.
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Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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History was a trash bag of random coincidences torn open in a wind.
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Anything worth dying for is certainly worth living for.
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I wouldn’t want to live without strong misgivings.
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Peace on earth would mean the end of civilization as we know it.
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Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t after you.
JOSEPH HELLER