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What do you do when it rains?” The captain answered frankly. “I get wet.

Joseph Heller

Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t after you.
JOSEPH HELLER

Mad Paranoid
From men motivated by moral certitude, history teaches, no lasting good ever comes.
JOSEPH HELLER

Goodness History Moral Teaching
I don’t understand the process of imagination-though I know that I am very much at its mercy.
JOSEPH HELLER

Imagination Mercy Process Understand
You’re an intelligent person of great moral character who has taken a very courageous stand. I’m an intelligent person with no moral character at all, so I’m in an ideal position to appreciate it.
JOSEPH HELLER

Appreciation Character Courage Intelligence Moral
There was no telling what people might find out once they felt free to ask whatever questions they wanted to.
JOSEPH HELLER

Freedom People Question Want
I’ve only had four ideas for a novel in my life, and I’ve written all of them.
JOSEPH HELLER

Ideas Life Novel Writing
Be glad you’re even alive. Be furious you’re going to die.
JOSEPH HELLER

Alive Death Die Furious Life
Well, he died. You don’t get any older than that.
JOSEPH HELLER

Broken Heart Die Old
It doesn’t make a damned bit of difference who wins the war to someone who’s dead.
JOSEPH HELLER

Dead Difference War Win
Where were you born?” “On a battlefield,” [Yossarian] answered. “No, no. In what state were you born?” “In a state of innocence.
JOSEPH HELLER

Born Innocence
The enemy is anybody who’s going to get you killed, no matter which side he is on.
JOSEPH HELLER

Enemy Kill War
The villains will come along. There were plenty in the Carter administration, and there will be plenty with Reagan.
JOSEPH HELLER

Villain
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
JOSEPH HELLER

Achievement Born Medicore Mediocrity Men Sarcastic Thrust
Peace on earth would mean the end of civilization as we know it.
JOSEPH HELLER

Civilization Earth End Peace
They agreed that it was neither possible nor necessary to educate people who never questioned anything.
JOSEPH HELLER

Agree Education Necessary People Possible Question
Mankind is resilient: the atrocities that horrified us a week ago become acceptable tomorrow.
JOSEPH HELLER

Acceptance Mankind Resilence Tomorrow

What do you do when it rains?” The captain answered frankly. “I get wet.

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What do you do when it rains?” The captain answered frankly. “I get wet.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Joseph Heller Quotes