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What do you do when it rains?” The captain answered frankly. “I get wet.

Joseph Heller

Remember that everyone deserves some fun during working hours.
JOSEPH HELLER

Deserve Fun Leadership Work
What do you do when it rains?” The captain answered frankly. “I get wet.
JOSEPH HELLER

Rain Wet
There was no telling what people might find out once they felt free to ask whatever questions they wanted to.
JOSEPH HELLER

Freedom People Question Want
I wouldn’t want to live without strong misgivings.
JOSEPH HELLER

Freedom Live Strong
I think in every country that there is at least one executive who is scared of going crazy.
JOSEPH HELLER

Country Crazy Executive Scare
Something did happen to me somewhere that robbed me of confidence and courage and left me with a fear of discovery and change and a positive dread of everything unknown that may occur.
JOSEPH HELLER

Change Confidence Courage Discovery Dread Fear Lost
Destiny is a good thing to accept when it’s going your way. When it isn’t, don’t call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.
JOSEPH HELLER

Acceptance Bad Luck Destiny Injustice
There is no disappointment so numbing as someone no better than you achieving more.
JOSEPH HELLER

Achievement Disappointment Numb
Mankind is resilient: the atrocities that horrified us a week ago become acceptable tomorrow.
JOSEPH HELLER

Acceptance Mankind Resilence Tomorrow
From men motivated by moral certitude, history teaches, no lasting good ever comes.
JOSEPH HELLER

Goodness History Moral Teaching
The laws of nature are only as immutable as the minds which promote them. Ignorance of the law is 9/10ths of the law. Just because you aren’t paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t out to get you.
JOSEPH HELLER

Ignorance Law Mind Nature Paranoid Promote
Prostitution gives her an opportunity to meet people. It provides fresh air and wholesome exercise, and it keeps her out of trouble.
JOSEPH HELLER

Air Exercise Fresh Meet Opportunity People Prostitution Trouble
In the long run, failure was the only thing that worked predictably. All else was accidental.
JOSEPH HELLER

Accident Failure Predict
The enemy is anybody who’s going to get you killed, no matter which side he is on.
JOSEPH HELLER

Enemy Kill War
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
JOSEPH HELLER

Achievement Born Medicore Mediocrity Men Sarcastic Thrust
You know, that might be the answer – to act boastfully about something we ought to be ashamed of. That’s a trick that never seems to fail.
JOSEPH HELLER

Ashame Failure Trick

What do you do when it rains?” The captain answered frankly. “I get wet.

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What do you do when it rains?” The captain answered frankly. “I get wet.

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Popular Authors

More Joseph Heller Quotes