Anything worth dying for is certainly worth living for.
JOSEPH HELLERWhen I grow up I want to be a little boy.
More Joseph Heller Quotes
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In the long run, failure was the only thing that worked predictably. All else was accidental.
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Remember that everyone deserves some fun during working hours.
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Something did happen to me somewhere that robbed me of confidence and courage and left me with a fear of discovery and change and a positive dread of everything unknown that may occur.
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But that was war. Just about all he could find in its favor was that it paid well and liberated children from the pernicious influence of their parents.
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He was never without misery, and never without hope.
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Where were you born?” “On a battlefield,” [Yossarian] answered. “No, no. In what state were you born?” “In a state of innocence.
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Frankly, I’d like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry.
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From men motivated by moral certitude, history teaches, no lasting good ever comes.
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The laws of nature are only as immutable as the minds which promote them. Ignorance of the law is 9/10ths of the law. Just because you aren’t paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t out to get you.
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Let’s take a drive into the middle of nowhere with a packet of Marlboro lights and talk about our lives.
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He was going to live forever, or die in the attempt.
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I’ve only had four ideas for a novel in my life, and I’ve written all of them.
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There was no telling what people might find out once they felt free to ask whatever questions they wanted to.
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Prostitution gives her an opportunity to meet people. It provides fresh air and wholesome exercise, and it keeps her out of trouble.
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You’re an intelligent person of great moral character who has taken a very courageous stand. I’m an intelligent person with no moral character at all, so I’m in an ideal position to appreciate it.
JOSEPH HELLER






