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Maybe I’m old-fashioned, but I believe when a woman enters a room, men should stand up – and gay men should stand up at least halfway.

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I got a waterbed, but my husband stocked it with trout.
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A Mafia guy in Vegas gave me this advice: “Run your own race, put on your blinders.”
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I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I’d look like without plastic surgery.
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Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It’s all funny.
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My mother could make anybody feel guilty – she used to get letters of apology from people she didn’t even know.
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Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say ‘My wife makes a delicious cake’ to some hooker?
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