Keep moving. It’s hard for old age to hit a moving target.
JOAN RIVERSDon’t worry about the money. Love the process.
More Joan Rivers Quotes
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On the Vanna White diet, you only eat what you can spell.
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If you laugh at it, you can deal with it.
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Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.
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Edgar had a heart attack, and I’m to blame. We were making love, and I took the bag off my head.
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She doesn’t understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.
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You know it’s time to start using mouthwash when your dentist leaves the room and sends in a canary.
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I’m racist? How can that even be possible? I was a friend of Michael Jackson’s back when he was black.
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I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.
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Comediennes are the lucky ones, because if you’re funny, you can be 125 years old and they will still accept you.
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A study says owning a dog makes you 10 years younger. My first thought was to rescue two more, but I don’t want to go through menopause again.
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I use a smoke alarm as a timer.
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I was smart enough to go through any door that opened.
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Thank God we’re living in a country where the sky’s the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.
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I’m in nobody’s circle, I’ve always been an outsider.
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If God wanted us to bend over he’d put diamonds on the floor.
JOAN RIVERS