When that person dies, the whole cluster dies,too, vanishes from the living memory. I wonder who that person will be for me. Whose death will make me truly dead?
IRVIN D. YALOMDeath anxiety is the mother of all religions, which, in one way or another, attempt to temper the anguish of our finitude.
More Irvin D. Yalom Quotes
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If I had to pick out a therapist in a movie that I’d like to go see as a personal therapist, it would be Robin Williams in Goodwill Hunting.
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My hunch is yes. It would certainly do something for those who are most ruthless, who tend to make others most miserable.
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One thing I feel clear about is that it’s important not to let your life live you. Otherwise, you end up at forty feeling you haven’t really lived. What have I learned? Perhaps to live now, so that at fifty I won’t look back upon my forties with regret.
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A free man who lives among the ignorant strives as far as he can to avoid their favors. A free man acts honestly, not deceptively.
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He had learned long ago that, in general, the easier it was for anxious patients to reach him, the less likely they were to call. (107)
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Look out the other’s window. Try to see the world as your patient sees it.
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A focus on this deep dissatisfaction is often the starting point in overcoming death anxiety.
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Living safely is dangerous.
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Death cures psychoneurosis. In a sense all these neurotic concerns–fear of rejection, interpersonal concerns–seem to melt away, and people get another perspective on their lives. The important things are really important, and the trivia of life is trivialized.
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Life as a therapist is a life of service in which we daily transcend our personal wishes and turn our gaze toward the needs and growth of the other.
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To the best of my knowledge, every acute inpatient ward offers some inpatient group therapy experience.
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Absolute power, as we have always known, corrupts absolutely; it corrupts because it does not do the trick for the individual.
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It is wrong to bear children out of need, wrong to use a child to alleviate loneliness, wrong to provide purpose in life by reproducing another copy of oneself. It is wrong also to seek immortality by spewing one’s germ into the future as though sperm contains your consciousness!
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Not to take possession of your life plan is to let your existence be an accident.
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The more you fail to experience your life fully, the more you will fear death.
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Many people are in despair because their dreams didn’t come true, and they despair even more that they did not make them come true.
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If one is to love oneself one must behave in ways that one can admire.
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One doesn’t do existential therapy as a freestanding separate theory; rather it informs your approach to such issues as death, which many therapists tend to shy away from.
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Psychotherapy is a cyclical process from isolation into relationship. It is cyclical because the patient, in terror of existential isolation, relates deeply and meaningfully to the therapist and then, strengthened by this encounter, is led back again to a confrontation with existential isolation.
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The act of revealing oneself fully to another and still being accepted may be the major vehicle of therapeutic help.
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Mirroring, softly, barely audibly, just under the membrane of consciousness.
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Life is a spark between two identical voids, the darkness before birth and the one after death.
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Live right, he reminded himself, and have faith that good things will flow from you even if you never learn of them.
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If we climb high enough, we will reach a height from which tragedy ceases to look tragic.
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Though the physicality of death destroys us, the idea of death may save us.
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Religion has everything on its side: revelation, prophecies, government protection, the highest dignity and eminence. . . and more than this, the invaluable prerogative of being allowed to imprint its doctrines on the mind at a tender age of childhood, whereby they become almost innate ideas.
IRVIN D. YALOM