Death anxiety is the mother of all religions, which, in one way or another, attempt to temper the anguish of our finitude.
IRVIN D. YALOMOne comprehends oneself in order not to be preoccupied with oneself.
More Irvin D. Yalom Quotes
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I thought a lot about how someone very old is the last living individual to have known some person or cluster of people.
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Only free man are genuinely useful to one another and can form true friendships. And it’s absolutely permissible, by the highest right of Nature, for everyone to employ clear reason to determine how to live in a way that will allow him to flourish.
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I dream of a love that is more than two people craving to possess one another.
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Rather, love is a way of being, a “giving to,” not a ‘falling for”; a mode of relating at large, not an act limited to a single person.
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Death, however, does itch. It itches all the time. It is always with us, scratching at some inner door.
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Specialness as a primary mode of death transcendence takes a number of other maladaptive forms.
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I must stop him from being one of those who call themselves good because they have no claws.
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I never want to take away something when I don’t have anything better to offer him in a way.
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It is wrong to bear children out of need, wrong to use a child to alleviate loneliness, wrong to provide purpose in life by reproducing another copy of oneself. It is wrong also to seek immortality by spewing one’s germ into the future as though sperm contains your consciousness!
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Life as a therapist is a life of service in which we daily transcend our personal wishes and turn our gaze toward the needs and growth of the other.
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Hidden in disguise, leaking out in a variety of symptoms. It is the wellspring of many of our worries, stresses, and conflicts.
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Life is a spark between two identical voids, the darkness before birth and the one after death.
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The more you fail to experience your life fully, the more you will fear death.
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What? ‘Borderline patients play games’? That what you said? Ernest, you’ll never be a real therapist if you think like that. That’s exactly what I meant earlier when I talked about the dangers of diagnosis.
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Psychotherapy is a cyclical process from isolation into relationship. It is cyclical because the patient, in terror of existential isolation, relates deeply and meaningfully to the therapist and then, strengthened by this encounter, is led back again to a confrontation with existential isolation.
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One comprehends oneself in order not to be preoccupied with oneself.
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If people in their 20s had more death awareness, would that in fact temper their ambition or drive?
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Pandora’s box, but to re-enter life in a richer, more compassionate manner.
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All these things I’ve written so much about. That’s why I’ve made such a practice really, over and over to hammer home the point of self-revelation and being more of yourself and showing yourself. Every book I write I want to get that in there.
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He had learned long ago that, in general, the easier it was for anxious patients to reach him, the less likely they were to call. (107)
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And if you do the latter, you’re not so worried about the everyday trivialities of life, for example, petty concerns about secrecy or privacy.
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If you want to choose the pleasure of growth, prepare yourself for some pain.
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Only the wounded healer can truly heal. (97)
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It’s not easy to live every moment wholly aware of death. It’s like trying to stare the sun in the face: you can stand only so much of it. Because we cannot live frozen in fear, we generate methods to soften death’s terror.
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Never take away anything if you have nothing better to offer
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The death anxiety of many people is fueled … by disappointment at never having fulfilled their potential.
IRVIN D. YALOM