When we have forgotten ourselves and become absorbed in someone (or something) outside ourselves
IRVIN D. YALOMIf one is to love oneself one must behave in ways that one can admire.
More Irvin D. Yalom Quotes
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Despite the staunchest, most venerable defenses, we can never completely subdue death anxiety: it is always there, lurking in some hidden ravine of the mind.
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Reality always creeps in–the reality of our helplessness and our mortality; the reality that, despite our reach for the stars, a creaturely fate awaits us.
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We project ourselves into the future through our children; we grow rich, famous, ever larger; we develop compulsive protective rituals; or we embrace an impregnable belief in an ultimate rescuer.
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This is what makes us human. But it comes with a costly price: the wound of mortality. Our existence is forever shadowed by the knowledge that we will grow, blossom, and, inevitably, diminish and die.
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If one is to learn to live with the dead, one must first learn to live with the living!
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Death loses its terror if one dies when one has consummated one’s life!
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Live your life to the fullest; and then, and only then, die. Don’t leave any unlived life behind.
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The act of revealing oneself fully to another and still being accepted may be the major vehicle of therapeutic help.
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Psychotherapy is a cyclical process from isolation into relationship. It is cyclical because the patient, in terror of existential isolation, relates deeply and meaningfully to the therapist and then, strengthened by this encounter, is led back again to a confrontation with existential isolation.
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…the more unlived your life, the greater your death anxiety.
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The death anxiety of many people is fueled … by disappointment at never having fulfilled their potential.
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This was due to a kind of increased existential awareness that resulted from this confrontation with the death of another. And I think it brought them in touch with their own death, so they began to experience a kind of preciousness to life that comes with an experience of its transiency.
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If I’m among men who don’t agree at all with my nature, I will hardly be able to accommodate myself to them without greatly changing myself.
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Absolute power, as we have always known, corrupts absolutely; it corrupts because it does not do the trick for the individual.
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I think my quarry is illusion. I war against magic. I believe that, though illusion often cheers and comforts, it ultimately and invariably weakens and constricts the spirit.
IRVIN D. YALOM






