Absolute power, as we have always known, corrupts absolutely; it corrupts because it does not do the trick for the individual.
IRVIN D. YALOMThough the physicality of death destroys us, the idea of death may save us.
More Irvin D. Yalom Quotes
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Therapists need to have a long experience in personal therapy to see what it’s like to be on the other side of the couch and see what they find helpful or not helpful. And if possible, get into therapy at different stages of their life with different kinds of therapists just to sample a bit.
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Life is a miserable thing. I have decided to spend my life thinking about it.
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If you want to choose the pleasure of growth, prepare yourself for some pain.
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What? ‘Borderline patients play games’? That what you said? Ernest, you’ll never be a real therapist if you think like that. That’s exactly what I meant earlier when I talked about the dangers of diagnosis.
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One comprehends oneself in order not to be preoccupied with oneself.
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If one is to learn to live with the dead, one must first learn to live with the living!
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And if you do the latter, you’re not so worried about the everyday trivialities of life, for example, petty concerns about secrecy or privacy.
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The more unlived your life, the greater your death anxiety.
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This was due to a kind of increased existential awareness that resulted from this confrontation with the death of another. And I think it brought them in touch with their own death, so they began to experience a kind of preciousness to life that comes with an experience of its transiency.
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When that person dies, the whole cluster dies,too, vanishes from the living memory. I wonder who that person will be for me. Whose death will make me truly dead?
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Living safely is dangerous.
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This is what makes us human. But it comes with a costly price: the wound of mortality. Our existence is forever shadowed by the knowledge that we will grow, blossom, and, inevitably, diminish and die.
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Self-awareness is a supreme gift, a treasure as precious as life.
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Some sort of greater awareness of their own finiteness and what their time on earth really is, and what they really want to do with their lives, could help improve them.
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Religion has everything on its side: revelation, prophecies, government protection, the highest dignity and eminence. . . and more than this, the invaluable prerogative of being allowed to imprint its doctrines on the mind at a tender age of childhood, whereby they become almost innate ideas.
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Heidegger makes the distinction between being absorbed in the way things are in the world and being aware that things are in the world.
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All these things I’ve written so much about. That’s why I’ve made such a practice really, over and over to hammer home the point of self-revelation and being more of yourself and showing yourself. Every book I write I want to get that in there.
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To the extent that one is responsible for one’s life, one is alone.
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The death anxiety of many people is fueled … by disappointment at never having fulfilled their potential.
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Death anxiety is the mother of all religions, which, in one way or another, attempt to temper the anguish of our finitude.
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I never want to take away something when I don’t have anything better to offer him in a way.
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Not to take possession of your life plan is to let your existence be an accident.
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A sense of life meaning ensues but cannot be deliberately pursued: life meaning is always a derivative phenomenon that materializes when we have transcended ourselves.
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The pain is there; when you close one door on it, it knocks to come in somewhere else.
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Death, however, does itch. It itches all the time. It is always with us, scratching at some inner door.
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The therapist can make the group feel safer by allowing each patient to set his or her limits and by emphasizing the patient’s control over every interaction.
IRVIN D. YALOM