On one issue, at least, men and women agree. They both distrust women.
H. L. MENCKENAlways remember this: If you don’t attend the funerals of your friends, they will certainly not attend yours.
More H. L. Mencken Quotes
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The final test of truth is ridicule. Very few dogmas have ever faced it and survived.
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You can’t do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth.
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The theory seems to be that as long as a man is a failure he is one of God’s children, but that as soon as he succeeds he is taken over by the Devil.
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The common argument that crime is caused by poverty is a kind of slander on the poor.
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There are two impossibilities in life: “just one drink” and “an honest politician.”
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Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.
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Sometimes the idiots outvote the sensible people.
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The ideal way to get rid of any infectious disease would be to shoot instantly every person who comes down with it.
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A sense of humor always withers in the presence of the messianic delusion, like justice and the truth in front of patriotic passion.
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It is the classic fallacy of our time that a moron run through a university and decorated with a Ph.D. will thereby cease to be a moron.
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Puritanism. The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
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Government’s great contribution to human wisdom is the discovery that the taxpayer has more than one pocket.
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Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.
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A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married.
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In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican.
H. L. MENCKEN