For every problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong.
H. L. MENCKENOn one issue, at least, men and women agree. They both distrust women.
More H. L. Mencken Quotes
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Government’s great contribution to human wisdom is the discovery that the taxpayer has more than one pocket.
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The men the American people admire most extravagantly are the most daring liars; the men they detest most violently are those who try to tell them the truth.
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The common argument that crime is caused by poverty is a kind of slander on the poor.
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A church is a place in which gentlemen who have never been to Heaven brag about it to persons who will never get there.
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Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.
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The chief difference between free capitalism and State socialism seems to be this: that under the former a man pursues his own advantage openly, frankly and honestly, whereas under the latter he does so hypocritically and under false pretenses.
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A professional politician is a professionally dishonorable man. In order to get anywhere near high office he has to make so many compromises and submit to so many humiliations that he becomes indistinguishable from a streetwalker.
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What men value in this world is not rights but privileges.
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It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.
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Misogynist: A man who hates women as much as women hate one another.
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There are two impossibilities in life: “just one drink” and “an honest politician.”
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The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.
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A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married.
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The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out for himself.
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Change is not progress.
H. L. MENCKEN