I never met anyone who didn’t have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood?
FRAN LEBOWITZThe opposite of talking isn’t listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.
More Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.
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Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
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Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one. It’s a drug. It distorts reality, and that’s the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.
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The opposite of talking isn’t listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.
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Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort.
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Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications.
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Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.
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To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel.
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Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.
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My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as restaurants, airports, streets, hotel lobbies, parks, and department stores.
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All God’s children are not beautiful. Most of God’s children are, in fact, barely presentable.
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Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
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Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.
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Polite conversation is rarely either.
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The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.
FRAN LEBOWITZ