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Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.

Erma Bombeck

I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes.
ERMA BOMBECK

Clothes Live Luck Myself Society
Housework can kill you if done right.
ERMA BOMBECK

Funny Kill Work Yourself
Time. It hangs heavy for the bored, eludes the busy, flies by the for young, and runs out for the aged.
ERMA BOMBECK

Age Run Time Young
Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
ERMA BOMBECK

Give Up Guilty
Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can’t see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.
ERMA BOMBECK

Age Eye Kind Memories Old Perspective Thinking
Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
ERMA BOMBECK

Food Improvement Time
The grass is always greener over the septic tank.
ERMA BOMBECK

Advice Appearance
The hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only red meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists on the wrong track?
ERMA BOMBECK

Animal Food Funny Lion Wrong
I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night.
ERMA BOMBECK

Fate Food Myself Night Oneself Thinking Woman
Cats invented self-esteem.
ERMA BOMBECK

Animal Cat Invention Worth
I haven’t trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I’ve never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.
ERMA BOMBECK

Funny Give Up Myself See Sex Trust Woman
How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
ERMA BOMBECK

Buy Fate Funny Price Yourself
Volunteers are the only human beings on the face of the earth who reflect this nation’s compassion, unselfish caring, patience, and just plain love for one another.
ERMA BOMBECK

Care Compassion Each Other Face Human Love Nation Patience Reflection
If I had my life to live over, instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished ever moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
ERMA BOMBECK

Chance God Growth Life Magic Moments Myself Pregnant
The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.
ERMA BOMBECK

Food Funny Life
Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.
ERMA BOMBECK

Body Born Children Deep Mom Pregnant

Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.

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Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.

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Popular Authors

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