I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along.
ERMA BOMBECKI am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
-
-
When you look like your passport photo, it’s time to go home.
ERMA BOMBECK -
When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me’.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
ERMA BOMBECK -
If you can’t make it better, you can laugh at it.
ERMA BOMBECK -
I remember thinking how often we look, but never see … we listen, but never hear … we exist, but never feel. We take our relationships for granted. A house is only a place. It has no life of its own. It needs human voices, activity and laughter to come alive.
ERMA BOMBECK -
As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her.
ERMA BOMBECK -
People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal.
ERMA BOMBECK -
How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
ERMA BOMBECK -
Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it’s still snowing.
ERMA BOMBECK -
When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.
ERMA BOMBECK -
There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
ERMA BOMBECK -
If I had my life to live over, instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished ever moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
ERMA BOMBECK -
My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
ERMA BOMBECK -
There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
ERMA BOMBECK







