Children make your life important.
ERMA BOMBECKI am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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I haven’t trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I’ve never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.
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I’ve exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
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All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.
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Every puppy should have a boy.
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One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child’s name and how old he or she is.
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Time. It hangs heavy for the bored, eludes the busy, flies by the for young, and runs out for the aged.
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Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
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Friends are “annuals” that need seasonal nurturing to bear blossoms. Family is a “perennial” that comes up year after year, enduring the droughts of absence and neglect. There’s a place in the garden for both of them.
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For years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us.
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Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
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When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me’.
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A grandparent will help you with your buttons, your zippers, and your shoelaces and not be in any hurry for you to grow up.
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One never realizes how different a husband and wife can be until they begin to pack for a trip.
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Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.
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Housework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage.
ERMA BOMBECK