Cats invented self-esteem.
ERMA BOMBECKI am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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Volunteers are the only human beings on the face of the earth who reflect this nation’s compassion, unselfish caring, patience, and just plain love for one another.
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A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. “What shall we name the other one?” I smiled. She was not amused.
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Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can’t see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.
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One never realizes how different a husband and wife can be until they begin to pack for a trip.
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Housework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage.
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When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me’.
ERMA BOMBECK -
I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes.
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My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
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A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.
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If I had my life to live over, instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished ever moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
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If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
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Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
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If you can’t make it better, you can laugh at it.
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How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
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People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal.
ERMA BOMBECK