Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
ERMA BOMBECKFriends are “annuals” that need seasonal nurturing to bear blossoms. Family is a “perennial” that comes up year after year, enduring the droughts of absence and neglect. There’s a place in the garden for both of them.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child’s name and how old he or she is.
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Laughter rises out of tragedy when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.
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My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
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He who laughs lasts.
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Women are never what they seem to be. There is the woman you see and there is the woman who is hidden. Buy the gift for the woman who is hidden.
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Never have more children than you have car windows.
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My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
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Grandparenthood is one of life’s rewards for surviving your own children.
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The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.
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When you look like your passport photo, it’s time to go home.
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If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
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Housework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage.
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Don’t confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
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Children make your life important.
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A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.
ERMA BOMBECK