If you can’t make it better, you can laugh at it.
ERMA BOMBECKFriends are “annuals” that need seasonal nurturing to bear blossoms. Family is a “perennial” that comes up year after year, enduring the droughts of absence and neglect. There’s a place in the garden for both of them.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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There’s something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she’s only measured water in it.
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I’ve exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
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He who laughs lasts.
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My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
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Kids need love the most when they’re acting most unlovable.
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I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food.
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There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
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I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night.
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Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It’s too controversial.
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My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
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Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.
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Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can’t see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.
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Volunteers are the only human beings on the face of the earth who reflect this nation’s compassion, unselfish caring, patience, and just plain love for one another.
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Housework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage.
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Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?
ERMA BOMBECK







