Friends are “annuals” that need seasonal nurturing to bear blossoms. Family is a “perennial” that comes up year after year, enduring the droughts of absence and neglect. There’s a place in the garden for both of them.
ERMA BOMBECKTime. It hangs heavy for the bored, eludes the busy, flies by the for young, and runs out for the aged.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.
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When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.
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Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn’t even in the same neighborhood. No one has ever gotten a religious experience out of removing burned-on cheese from the grill of the toaster oven.
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How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
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I read one psychologist’s theory that said, “Never strike a child in your anger.” When could I strike him? When he is kissing me on my birthday? When he’s recuperating from measles? Do I slap the Bible out of his hand on Sunday?
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Children make your life important.
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It is my theory you can’t get rid of fat. All you can do is move it around, like furniture.
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When humor goes, there goes civilization.
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My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
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The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.
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Once you see the drivers in Indonesia you understand why religion plays such a part in their lives.
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Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.
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Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it’s still snowing.
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The grass is always greener over the septic tank.
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Grandparenthood is one of life’s rewards for surviving your own children.
ERMA BOMBECK