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Time. It hangs heavy for the bored, eludes the busy, flies by the for young, and runs out for the aged.

Erma Bombeck

My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
ERMA BOMBECK

Care Home Myself Theory Work Yourself
Children make your life important.
ERMA BOMBECK

Children Important Literature One Liner Worth
When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me’.
ERMA BOMBECK

End God Hope Inspirational Life Motivational Myself Success Talent
Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn’t even in the same neighborhood. No one has ever gotten a religious experience out of removing burned-on cheese from the grill of the toaster oven.
ERMA BOMBECK

Clean Experience Food Funny God Oneself Religious
Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It’s too controversial.
ERMA BOMBECK

Family Food Funny Planning Politics Religion
I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes.
ERMA BOMBECK

Clothes Live Luck Myself Society
Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
ERMA BOMBECK

Food Preparation Thankful Time
Once you see the drivers in Indonesia you understand why religion plays such a part in their lives.
ERMA BOMBECK

Live Play Religious See Travel Understand Yourself
Sometimes I can’t figure designers out. It’s as if they flunked human anatomy.
ERMA BOMBECK

Design Fashion Human Literature Myself
The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.
ERMA BOMBECK

Food Funny Life
The hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only red meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists on the wrong track?
ERMA BOMBECK

Animal Food Funny Lion Wrong
No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.
ERMA BOMBECK

Bed Death Funny Motivation Sleep Women
The grass is always greener over the septic tank.
ERMA BOMBECK

Advice Appearance
Volunteers are the only human beings on the face of the earth who reflect this nation’s compassion, unselfish caring, patience, and just plain love for one another.
ERMA BOMBECK

Care Compassion Each Other Face Human Love Nation Patience Reflection
Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?
ERMA BOMBECK

Funny Pieces Travel Yourself
Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it’s still snowing.
ERMA BOMBECK

Children Clean Funny Home Mom

Time. It hangs heavy for the bored, eludes the busy, flies by the for young, and runs out for the aged.

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Time. It hangs heavy for the bored, eludes the busy, flies by the for young, and runs out for the aged.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Erma Bombeck Quotes