Pregnancy is the only time in a woman’s life she can help God work a miracle.
ERMA BOMBECKTime. It hangs heavy for the bored, eludes the busy, flies by the for young, and runs out for the aged.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
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Once you see the drivers in Indonesia you understand why religion plays such a part in their lives.
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I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food.
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Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it’s still snowing.
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A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.
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Grandparenthood is one of life’s rewards for surviving your own children.
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The hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only red meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists on the wrong track?
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If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
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When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me’.
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Every puppy should have a boy.
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Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.
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Cats invented self-esteem.
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Sometimes I can’t figure designers out. It’s as if they flunked human anatomy.
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All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.
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I just clipped 2 articles from a current magazine. One is a diet guaranteed to drop 5 pounds off my body in a weekend. The other is a recipe for a 6 minute pecan pie.
ERMA BOMBECK