I remember thinking how often we look, but never see … we listen, but never hear … we exist, but never feel. We take our relationships for granted. A house is only a place. It has no life of its own. It needs human voices, activity and laughter to come alive.
ERMA BOMBECKNo one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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Never have more children than you have car windows.
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Once you see the drivers in Indonesia you understand why religion plays such a part in their lives.
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Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
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A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.
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For years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us.
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When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me’.
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It is my theory you can’t get rid of fat. All you can do is move it around, like furniture.
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My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
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There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
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Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?
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I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food.
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How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
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If I had my life to live over, instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished ever moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
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There’s something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she’s only measured water in it.
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The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.
ERMA BOMBECK