When humor goes, there goes civilization.
ERMA BOMBECKNo one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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I remember thinking how often we look, but never see … we listen, but never hear … we exist, but never feel. We take our relationships for granted. A house is only a place. It has no life of its own. It needs human voices, activity and laughter to come alive.
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Good kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted. Every evening they disappear. Most parents never imagine how hard they try to please us, and how miserable they feel when they think they have failed.
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My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
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Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn’t even in the same neighborhood. No one has ever gotten a religious experience out of removing burned-on cheese from the grill of the toaster oven.
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Some emotions don’t make a lot of noise. It’s hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint – like a heartbeat. And pure love – why, some days it’s so quiet, you don’t even know it’s there.
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I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along.
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It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
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Don’t confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
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Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.
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There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
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Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it’s still snowing.
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I was trampled to death by a man who believed his luggage would be the first piece off. If he were an experienced traveler, he would know that the first piece of luggage belongs to no one. It’s just a dummy suitcase to give everyone hope.
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Never have more children than you have car windows.
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Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?
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A grandparent is the only baby-sitter who doesn’t charge more after midnight – or anything before midnight.
ERMA BOMBECK







