Cats invented self-esteem.
ERMA BOMBECKNo one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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For years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us.
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My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
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He who laughs lasts.
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Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
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I just clipped 2 articles from a current magazine. One is a diet guaranteed to drop 5 pounds off my body in a weekend. The other is a recipe for a 6 minute pecan pie.
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My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
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A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. “What shall we name the other one?” I smiled. She was not amused.
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Women are never what they seem to be. There is the woman you see and there is the woman who is hidden. Buy the gift for the woman who is hidden.
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People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal.
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I remember thinking how often we look, but never see … we listen, but never hear … we exist, but never feel. We take our relationships for granted. A house is only a place. It has no life of its own. It needs human voices, activity and laughter to come alive.
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I was trampled to death by a man who believed his luggage would be the first piece off. If he were an experienced traveler, he would know that the first piece of luggage belongs to no one. It’s just a dummy suitcase to give everyone hope.
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Children make your life important.
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When you look like your passport photo, it’s time to go home.
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How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
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When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me’.
ERMA BOMBECK