It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
ERMA BOMBECKOne thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child’s name and how old he or she is.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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Housework can kill you if done right.
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I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes.
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A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.
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I read one psychologist’s theory that said, “Never strike a child in your anger.” When could I strike him? When he is kissing me on my birthday? When he’s recuperating from measles? Do I slap the Bible out of his hand on Sunday?
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Kids need love the most when they’re acting most unlovable.
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People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal.
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My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
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Grandparenthood is one of life’s rewards for surviving your own children.
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Success is outliving your failures.
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Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
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There’s something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she’s only measured water in it.
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If I had my life to live over, instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished ever moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
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When you’re lecturing teenagers and they begin to hum and leave the room, you can sense there is hostility.
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One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child’s name and how old he or she is.
ERMA BOMBECK -
When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.
ERMA BOMBECK