A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.
ERMA BOMBECKOne thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child’s name and how old he or she is.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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He who laughs lasts.
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Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.
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Grandparenthood is one of life’s rewards for surviving your own children.
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Women are never what they seem to be. There is the woman you see and there is the woman who is hidden. Buy the gift for the woman who is hidden.
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There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
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Pregnancy is the only time in a woman’s life she can help God work a miracle.
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Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.
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Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
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Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It’s unbridled, its unplanned, it’s full of suprises.
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There’s something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she’s only measured water in it.
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Once you see the drivers in Indonesia you understand why religion plays such a part in their lives.
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Volunteers are the only human beings on the face of the earth who reflect this nation’s compassion, unselfish caring, patience, and just plain love for one another.
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My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
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When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me’.
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Laughter rises out of tragedy when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.
ERMA BOMBECK