Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
ERMA BOMBECKOne thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child’s name and how old he or she is.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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One never realizes how different a husband and wife can be until they begin to pack for a trip.
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Every puppy should have a boy.
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Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It’s too controversial.
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One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child’s name and how old he or she is.
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Cats invented self-esteem.
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It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
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Grandparenthood is one of life’s rewards for surviving your own children.
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Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.
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Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn’t even in the same neighborhood. No one has ever gotten a religious experience out of removing burned-on cheese from the grill of the toaster oven.
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I haven’t trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I’ve never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.
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There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
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He who laughs lasts.
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Success is outliving your failures.
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Some emotions don’t make a lot of noise. It’s hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint – like a heartbeat. And pure love – why, some days it’s so quiet, you don’t even know it’s there.
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Pregnancy is the only time in a woman’s life she can help God work a miracle.
ERMA BOMBECK