Don’t confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
ERMA BOMBECKOne thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child’s name and how old he or she is.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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The hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only red meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists on the wrong track?
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A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.
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I haven’t trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I’ve never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.
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Grandparenthood is one of life’s rewards for surviving your own children.
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There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
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Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
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If I had my life to live over, instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished ever moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
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Once you see the drivers in Indonesia you understand why religion plays such a part in their lives.
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My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
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Friends are “annuals” that need seasonal nurturing to bear blossoms. Family is a “perennial” that comes up year after year, enduring the droughts of absence and neglect. There’s a place in the garden for both of them.
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There’s something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she’s only measured water in it.
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I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night.
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Housework can kill you if done right.
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Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can’t see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.
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No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.
ERMA BOMBECK







