Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
ERMA BOMBECKOne thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child’s name and how old he or she is.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child’s name and how old he or she is.
ERMA BOMBECK -
When you’re lecturing teenagers and they begin to hum and leave the room, you can sense there is hostility.
ERMA BOMBECK -
He who laughs lasts.
ERMA BOMBECK -
No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.
ERMA BOMBECK -
My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
ERMA BOMBECK -
Don’t confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can’t see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.
ERMA BOMBECK -
I haven’t trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I’ve never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Volunteers are the only human beings on the face of the earth who reflect this nation’s compassion, unselfish caring, patience, and just plain love for one another.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Every puppy should have a boy.
ERMA BOMBECK -
It is my theory you can’t get rid of fat. All you can do is move it around, like furniture.
ERMA BOMBECK -
It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
ERMA BOMBECK -
A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. “What shall we name the other one?” I smiled. She was not amused.
ERMA BOMBECK -
It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
ERMA BOMBECK