Grandparenthood is one of life’s rewards for surviving your own children.
ERMA BOMBECKHe who laughs lasts.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
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A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.
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My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
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If I had my life to live over, instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished ever moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
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I haven’t trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I’ve never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.
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Pregnancy is the only time in a woman’s life she can help God work a miracle.
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I remember thinking how often we look, but never see … we listen, but never hear … we exist, but never feel. We take our relationships for granted. A house is only a place. It has no life of its own. It needs human voices, activity and laughter to come alive.
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Sometimes I can’t figure designers out. It’s as if they flunked human anatomy.
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I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night.
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One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child’s name and how old he or she is.
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Every puppy should have a boy.
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Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
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People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal.
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When you look like your passport photo, it’s time to go home.
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Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.
ERMA BOMBECK