Every puppy should have a boy.
ERMA BOMBECKHe who laughs lasts.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
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My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
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As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her.
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When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.
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I haven’t trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I’ve never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.
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When you look like your passport photo, it’s time to go home.
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Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.
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Children make your life important.
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A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. “What shall we name the other one?” I smiled. She was not amused.
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The grass is always greener over the septic tank.
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Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.
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Don’t confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
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Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.
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Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can’t see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.
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Good kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted. Every evening they disappear. Most parents never imagine how hard they try to please us, and how miserable they feel when they think they have failed.
ERMA BOMBECK