There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
ERMA BOMBECKThere’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
ERMA BOMBECKIt seemed rather incongruous that in a society of super sophisticated communication, we often suffer from a shortage of listeners.
ERMA BOMBECKI remember thinking how often we look, but never see … we listen, but never hear … we exist, but never feel. We take our relationships for granted. A house is only a place. It has no life of its own. It needs human voices, activity and laughter to come alive.
ERMA BOMBECKIt is ludicrous to read the microwave direction on the boxes of food you buy, as each one will have a disclaimer: THIS WILL VARY WITH YOUR MICROWAVE. Loosely translated, this means, You’re on your own, Bernice.
ERMA BOMBECKAll of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.
ERMA BOMBECKI got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night.
ERMA BOMBECKThe grass is always greener over the septic tank.
ERMA BOMBECKGiving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.
ERMA BOMBECKHave you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn’t turn it on.
ERMA BOMBECKNever go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
ERMA BOMBECKIt is my theory you can’t get rid of fat. All you can do is move it around, like furniture.
ERMA BOMBECKSuccess is outliving your failures.
ERMA BOMBECKWhen my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.
ERMA BOMBECKNo one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.
ERMA BOMBECKPregnancy is the only time in a woman’s life she can help God work a miracle.
ERMA BOMBECKIf I had my life to live over, instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished ever moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
ERMA BOMBECK