One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child’s name and how old he or she is.
ERMA BOMBECKOne thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child’s name and how old he or she is.
ERMA BOMBECKNever go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
ERMA BOMBECKI worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along.
ERMA BOMBECKSometimes I can’t figure designers out. It’s as if they flunked human anatomy.
ERMA BOMBECKThanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
ERMA BOMBECKWhen my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.
ERMA BOMBECKWhen humor goes, there goes civilization.
ERMA BOMBECKIf you can’t make it better, you can laugh at it.
ERMA BOMBECKI just clipped 2 articles from a current magazine. One is a diet guaranteed to drop 5 pounds off my body in a weekend. The other is a recipe for a 6 minute pecan pie.
ERMA BOMBECKSuccess is outliving your failures.
ERMA BOMBECKPregnancy is the only time in a woman’s life she can help God work a miracle.
ERMA BOMBECKThere’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
ERMA BOMBECKOne never realizes how different a husband and wife can be until they begin to pack for a trip.
ERMA BOMBECKHe who laughs lasts.
ERMA BOMBECKMy theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
ERMA BOMBECKPeople usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal.
ERMA BOMBECK