When I was a kid, my favourite time of the year when I was child was that magical first snowfall. I’d yell Yippee! Snow! and run up to the front door and shout You know the deal… You have to let me in now.
EMO PHILIPS
When I was ten, my family moved to Downer’s Grove, Illinois. When I was twelve, I found them.
More Emo Philips Quotes
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When I was a kid, my favourite time of the year when I was child was that magical first snowfall. I’d yell Yippee! Snow! and run up to the front door and shout You know the deal… You have to let me in now.
EMO PHILIPS -
I used to be scared of pretty girls, until one confessed they’re just as scared of me.
EMO PHILIPS -
I was walking down the street the other day and these construction workers were working on the roof hammering away. One of them told me I was a paranoid lunatic… in morse code.
EMO PHILIPS -
When I was 10, I beat up the school bully. His arms were in casts. That’s what gave me the courage.
EMO PHILIPS -
Now there’s a seven-day waiting period to buy a gun. Who can stay mad that long?
EMO PHILIPS -
Interviewers always used to ask me about my pageboy haircut, and it drove me nuts: it almost made me suspect that there was something strange about it. So I cut off my pageboy.
EMO PHILIPS -
When I went to college, my parents threw a going away party for me, according to the letter.
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I told my wife she looks sexy with black fingernails. Now she thinks I slammed the car door on her hand on purpose.
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How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.
EMO PHILIPS -
I love Florida. I love the beach. I love the sound of the crashing surfers against the rocks.
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Always remember the last words of my grandfather, who said: ‘A truck!’
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When I wake up in the morning, I just can’t get started until I’ve had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I’ve tried other enemas.
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I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator.
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I’ve learned that you can’t make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they’ll panic and give in.
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I’m not a fatalist; even if I were, what could I do about it?
EMO PHILIPS