The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.
DOROTHY PARKERAll I say is, nobody has any business to go around looking like a horse and behaving as if it were all right. You don’t catch horses going around looking like people, do you?
More Dorothy Parker Quotes
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Vice is nice, but liquor is quicker.
DOROTHY PARKER -
[On the ringing of her doorbell or telephone:] What fresh hell is this?
DOROTHY PARKER -
Money cannot buy health, but I’d settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.
DOROTHY PARKER -
What ever beauty may be it has for its basis order and for its essence unity Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Drink and dance and laugh and lie, Love, the reeling midnight through, For tomorrow we shall die! (But, alas, we never do.)
DOROTHY PARKER -
If all the girls attending [the Yale prom] were laid end to end, I wouldn’t be at all surprised.
DOROTHY PARKER -
You do what you can, and you do it because you should. But all you can do is all you can do.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Quick!! Act as if nothing has happened!
DOROTHY PARKER -
I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I’m under the table/After four I’m under my host.
DOROTHY PARKER -
But I don’t give up; I forget why not.
DOROTHY PARKER -
That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can’t say ‘No’ in any of them.
DOROTHY PARKER -
There’s a hell of a distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it and it darts away.
DOROTHY PARKER -
If all the young ladies who attended the Yale promenade dance were laid end to end, no one would be the least surprised.
DOROTHY PARKER -
All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.
DOROTHY PARKER