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This is me apologizing. I am a fool, a bird-brain, a liar and a horse-thief. I wouldn’t touch a superlative again with an umbrella.

Dorothy Parker

And I’ll stay off Verlaine too; he was always chasing Rimbauds.
DOROTHY PARKER

Himself Run Stay
Ridicule may be a shield, but it is not a weapon.
DOROTHY PARKER

Armor Protection Safety Weapon
Writing is the art of applying the ass to the seat.
DOROTHY PARKER

Art Seat Writing
The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.
DOROTHY PARKER

Food Forever People
Should they whisper false of you, Never trouble to deny; Should the words they say be true, Weep and storm and say they lie.
DOROTHY PARKER

Deny Fake Lying Storm Trouble
Genius can write on the back of old envelopes but mere talent requires the finest stationery available.
DOROTHY PARKER

Genius Material Talent Writing
Now I know the things I know, and I do the things I do; and if you do not like me so, to hell, my love, with you!
DOROTHY PARKER

Action Hate Hell Identity Love Myself Yourself
Years are only garments, and you either wear them with style all your life, or else you go dowdy to the grave.
DOROTHY PARKER

Age Choice Clothes Grave Life Style Time Yourself
I don’t know much about being a millionaire, but I’ll bet I’d be darling at it.
DOROTHY PARKER

Money Myself Wealth
If all the young ladies who attended the Yale promenade dance were laid end to end, no one would be the least surprised.
DOROTHY PARKER

Dance End Surprise Woman Young
Misfortune, and recited misfortune especially, can be prolonged to the point where it ceases to excite pity and arouses only irritation.
DOROTHY PARKER

Excitement Fortune Irritation
Women and elephants never forget.
DOROTHY PARKER

Animal Forget Funny Woman
Don’t look at me in that tone of voice.
DOROTHY PARKER

Myself Tone View Voice
It turns out that, at social gatherings, as a source of entertainment, conviviality, and good fun, I rank somewhere between a sprig of parsley and a single ice-skate.
DOROTHY PARKER

Entertainment Fun Goodness Myself
Friends come and go but I wouldn’t have thought you’d be one of them.
DOROTHY PARKER

Friendship Myself Oneself Thinking
You can’t teach an old dogma new tricks.
DOROTHY PARKER

Old Teaching Trick Yourself

This is me apologizing. I am a fool, a bird-brain, a liar and a horse-thief. I wouldn’t touch a superlative again with an umbrella.

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This is me apologizing. I am a fool, a bird-brain, a liar and a horse-thief. I wouldn’t touch a superlative again with an umbrella.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Dorothy Parker Quotes