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This is me apologizing. I am a fool, a bird-brain, a liar and a horse-thief. I wouldn’t touch a superlative again with an umbrella.

Dorothy Parker

I know this will come as a shock to you, Mr. Goldwyn, but in all history, which has held billions and billions of human beings, not a single one ever had a happy ending.
DOROTHY PARKER

End Happiness History Human Willing
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
DOROTHY PARKER

Acceptance Leaving Myself
Now, look, baby, ‘Union’ is spelled with 5 letters. It is not a four-letter word.
DOROTHY PARKER

Letter Look Word
I’m not a writer with a drinking problem, I’m a drinker with a writing problem.
DOROTHY PARKER

Character Drink Identity Myself Problem Writing
They tire of quiet, that have known the storm
DOROTHY PARKER

Quiet Storm
A girl’s best friend is her mutter.
DOROTHY PARKER

Best Friendship Girl Herself
If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second-greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first-greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.
DOROTHY PARKER

Friendship Greatness Happiness Present Writing Young
Don’t feel bad when I die; I’ve been dead for a long time.
DOROTHY PARKER

Bad Death Feeling Myself Time
Money cannot buy health, but I’d settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.
DOROTHY PARKER

Diamond Health Money Myself
The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.
DOROTHY PARKER

Boredom Curious Deep
If all the young ladies who attended the Yale promenade dance were laid end to end, no one would be the least surprised.
DOROTHY PARKER

Dance End Surprise Woman Young
Genius can write on the back of old envelopes but mere talent requires the finest stationery available.
DOROTHY PARKER

Genius Material Talent Writing
The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.
DOROTHY PARKER

Atmosphere Best Children Home
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
DOROTHY PARKER

Alcohol Angry Food Funny Grapes Wine
I can’t write five words but that I change seven.
DOROTHY PARKER

Change Myself Word Writing
Constant use had not worn ragged the fabric of their friendship.
DOROTHY PARKER

Break Friendship Time

This is me apologizing. I am a fool, a bird-brain, a liar and a horse-thief. I wouldn’t touch a superlative again with an umbrella.

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This is me apologizing. I am a fool, a bird-brain, a liar and a horse-thief. I wouldn’t touch a superlative again with an umbrella.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Dorothy Parker Quotes