I hate writing, I love having written.
DOROTHY PARKERThis is me apologizing. I am a fool, a bird-brain, a liar and a horse-thief. I wouldn’t touch a superlative again with an umbrella.
More Dorothy Parker Quotes
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The only useful thing I ever learned in school was that if you spit on your eraser it erased ink.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Ducking for apples — change one letter and it’s the story of my life.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Ridicule may be a shield, but it is not a weapon.
DOROTHY PARKER -
The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.
DOROTHY PARKER -
His voice was as intimate as the rustle of sheets.
DOROTHY PARKER -
If you wear a short enough skirt, the party will come to you.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Never throw mud: you can miss the target, but your hands will remain dirty.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Friends come and go but I wouldn’t have thought you’d be one of them.
DOROTHY PARKER -
If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Writing is the art of applying the ass to the seat.
DOROTHY PARKER -
That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.
DOROTHY PARKER -
I’d like to have money. And I’d like to be a good writer. These two can come together, and I hope they will, but if that’s too adorable, I’d rather have money.
DOROTHY PARKER -
If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second-greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first-greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.
DOROTHY PARKER -
The Monte Carlo casino refused to admit me until I was properly dressed so I went and found my stockings, and then came back and lost my shirt.
DOROTHY PARKER







