[On the ringing of her doorbell or telephone:] What fresh hell is this?
DOROTHY PARKERThe definition of eternity is two people and a ham.
More Dorothy Parker Quotes
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This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
DOROTHY PARKER -
A liberal is a man who leaves the room before the fight starts.
DOROTHY PARKER -
If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Money cannot buy health, but I’d settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Years are only garments, and you either wear them with style all your life, or else you go dowdy to the grave.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Drink and dance and laugh and lie, Love, the reeling midnight through, For tomorrow we shall die! (But, alas, we never do.)
DOROTHY PARKER -
This is me apologizing. I am a fool, a bird-brain, a liar and a horse-thief. I wouldn’t touch a superlative again with an umbrella.
DOROTHY PARKER -
If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second-greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first-greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.
DOROTHY PARKER -
I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.
DOROTHY PARKER -
If you don’t have anything nice to say, come sit by me.
DOROTHY PARKER -
The cleverest woman on earth is the biggest fool on earth with a man.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Genius can write on the back of old envelopes but mere talent requires the finest stationery available.
DOROTHY PARKER -
I hate almost all rich people, but I think I’d be darling at it.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Now I know the things I know, and I do the things I do; and if you do not like me so, to hell, my love, with you!
DOROTHY PARKER -
Misfortune, and recited misfortune especially, can be prolonged to the point where it ceases to excite pity and arouses only irritation.
DOROTHY PARKER