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The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.

Dorothy Parker

Money cannot buy health, but I’d settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.
DOROTHY PARKER

Diamond Health Money Myself
I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I’m under the table/After four I’m under my host.
DOROTHY PARKER

Drink Food Funny Myself
That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can’t say ‘No’ in any of them.
DOROTHY PARKER

Language No Talk Woman
The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.
DOROTHY PARKER

Atmosphere Best Children Home
Writing well is the best revenge.
DOROTHY PARKER

One Liner Revenge Writing
The best way to avoid a hangover is to stay drunk.
DOROTHY PARKER

Avoid Best Drink Stay Way
Never throw mud: you can miss the target, but your hands will remain dirty.
DOROTHY PARKER

Clean Dirty Hands Nature Play Target Yourself
Los Angeles: Seventy-two suburbs in search of a city.
DOROTHY PARKER

City Place Search
And if my heart be scarred and burned, The safer, I, for all I learned.
DOROTHY PARKER

Burn Heart Myself Safety Scars
I like best to have one book in my hand, and a stack of others on the floor beside me, so as to know the supply of poppy and mandragora will not run out before the small hours.
DOROTHY PARKER

Best Books Hands Myself Run
Vice is nice, but liquor is quicker.
DOROTHY PARKER

Alcohol Quick Vice
If all the young ladies who attended the Yale promenade dance were laid end to end, no one would be the least surprised.
DOROTHY PARKER

Dance End Surprise Woman Young
That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can’t say ‘No’ in any of them.
DOROTHY PARKER

Language No Talk Woman
They sicken of the calm who know the storm.
DOROTHY PARKER

Sick Storm
Maybe it is only I, but conditions are such these days, that if you use studiously correct grammar, people suspect you of homosexual tendencies.
DOROTHY PARKER

Identity Literature Study Yourself
Three be the things I shall never attain: Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.
DOROTHY PARKER

Enough Jealous Satisfaction Wine

The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.

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The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.

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