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The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.

Dorothy Parker

Honesty means nothing until you are tested under circumstances where you are sure you could get away with dishonesty.
DOROTHY PARKER

Challenge Honesty Survive Test Yourself
I’m not a writer with a drinking problem, I’m a drinker with a writing problem.
DOROTHY PARKER

Character Drink Identity Myself Problem Writing
Maybe it is only I, but conditions are such these days, that if you use studiously correct grammar, people suspect you of homosexual tendencies.
DOROTHY PARKER

Identity Literature Study Yourself
If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second-greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first-greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.
DOROTHY PARKER

Friendship Greatness Happiness Present Writing Young
The cleverest woman on earth is the biggest fool on earth with a man.
DOROTHY PARKER

Big Earth Fools Love Man Woman
Misfortune, and recited misfortune especially, can be prolonged to the point where it ceases to excite pity and arouses only irritation.
DOROTHY PARKER

Excitement Fortune Irritation
Of Orson Welles: It’s like meeting God without dying.
DOROTHY PARKER

Death God
Where unwilling dies the rose; buds the new another year.
DOROTHY PARKER

Death Growth Rose Willing
People ought to be one of two things, young or dead.
DOROTHY PARKER

Death People Young
His voice was as intimate as the rustle of sheets.
DOROTHY PARKER

Bed Himself Voice
Vice is nice, but liquor is quicker.
DOROTHY PARKER

Alcohol Quick Vice
The best way to avoid a hangover is to stay drunk.
DOROTHY PARKER

Avoid Best Drink Stay Way
[On the ringing of her doorbell or telephone:] What fresh hell is this?
DOROTHY PARKER

Funny Hell Herself Phone
Writing is the art of applying the ass to the seat.
DOROTHY PARKER

Art Seat Writing
I don’t know much about being a millionaire, but I’ll bet I’d be darling at it.
DOROTHY PARKER

Money Myself Wealth
I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.
DOROTHY PARKER

Man Myself Relationship Requirement Stupidity

The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.

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The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.

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