Honesty means nothing until you are tested under circumstances where you are sure you could get away with dishonesty.
DOROTHY PARKERThe definition of eternity is two people and a ham.
More Dorothy Parker Quotes
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I’m not a writer with a drinking problem, I’m a drinker with a writing problem.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Maybe it is only I, but conditions are such these days, that if you use studiously correct grammar, people suspect you of homosexual tendencies.
DOROTHY PARKER -
If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second-greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first-greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.
DOROTHY PARKER -
The cleverest woman on earth is the biggest fool on earth with a man.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Misfortune, and recited misfortune especially, can be prolonged to the point where it ceases to excite pity and arouses only irritation.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Of Orson Welles: It’s like meeting God without dying.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Where unwilling dies the rose; buds the new another year.
DOROTHY PARKER -
People ought to be one of two things, young or dead.
DOROTHY PARKER -
His voice was as intimate as the rustle of sheets.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Vice is nice, but liquor is quicker.
DOROTHY PARKER -
The best way to avoid a hangover is to stay drunk.
DOROTHY PARKER -
[On the ringing of her doorbell or telephone:] What fresh hell is this?
DOROTHY PARKER -
Writing is the art of applying the ass to the seat.
DOROTHY PARKER -
I don’t know much about being a millionaire, but I’ll bet I’d be darling at it.
DOROTHY PARKER -
I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.
DOROTHY PARKER