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I hate writing, I love having written.

Dorothy Parker

If all the young ladies who attended the Yale promenade dance were laid end to end, no one would be the least surprised.
DOROTHY PARKER

Dance End Surprise Woman Young
[On the ringing of her doorbell or telephone:] What fresh hell is this?
DOROTHY PARKER

Funny Hell Herself Phone
Friends come and go but I wouldn’t have thought you’d be one of them.
DOROTHY PARKER

Friendship Myself Oneself Thinking
The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.
DOROTHY PARKER

Atmosphere Best Children Home
All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.
DOROTHY PARKER

Enough Friendship Need Room
I don’t know much about being a millionaire, but I’ll bet I’d be darling at it.
DOROTHY PARKER

Money Myself Wealth
People ought to be one of two things, young or dead.
DOROTHY PARKER

Death People Young
Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.
DOROTHY PARKER

Appearance Girl Man Wear
I like best to have one book in my hand, and a stack of others on the floor beside me, so as to know the supply of poppy and mandragora will not run out before the small hours.
DOROTHY PARKER

Best Books Hands Myself Run
If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to.
DOROTHY PARKER

Deep God Himself Money People Thinking
This is me apologizing. I am a fool, a bird-brain, a liar and a horse-thief. I wouldn’t touch a superlative again with an umbrella.
DOROTHY PARKER

Fools Myself Sorry Touch
Don’t feel bad when I die; I’ve been dead for a long time.
DOROTHY PARKER

Bad Death Feeling Myself Time
I was always sweet, at first. Oh, it’s so easy to be sweet to people before you love them.
DOROTHY PARKER

Easy Love People Sweet Yourself
Oh, seek, my love, your newer way; I’ll not be left in sorrow. So long as I have yesterday, Go take your damned tomorrow!
DOROTHY PARKER

Future Love Past Seek Sorrow
The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.
DOROTHY PARKER

Food Forever People
If all the girls attending [the Yale prom] were laid end to end, I wouldn’t be at all surprised.
DOROTHY PARKER

End Surprise Woman

I hate writing, I love having written.

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I hate writing, I love having written.

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