Being white is a job in America. You take that away, you better get the soldiers out.
DICK GREGORYCoconut milk is the only thing on this planet that comes identically to mother’s milk.
More Dick Gregory Quotes
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Political promises are much like marriage vows. They are made at the beginning of the relationship between candidate and voter, but are quickly forgotten.
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It was an unwritten law that black comics were not permitted to work white nightclubs. You could sing and you could dance, but you couldn’t stand flat-footed and talk; that was a no-no.
DICK GREGORY -
I’m not a comic. I’m a humorist.
DICK GREGORY -
I never learned hate at home, or shame. I had to go to school for that.
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Last time I was down South I walked into this restaurant, and this white waitress came up to me and said: ‘We don’t serve colored people here.’ I said: ‘that’s all right, I don’t eat colored people. Bring me a whole fried chicken.
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When I first broke through, there was only NBC, CBS and ABC, and they had news in the morning and in the evening – there wasn’t no 24-hour news.
DICK GREGORY -
There’s a God force inside of you that gives you a will to live.
DICK GREGORY -
Once I realized the value of making people laugh, I got very good at it. Fast.
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When I was a boy, I was taught never to use insulting expressions like, ‘I’ve been gypped,’ or, ‘He welshed on the deal.’
DICK GREGORY -
I am really enjoying the new Martin Luther King Jr stamp – just think about all those white bigots, licking the backside of a black man.
DICK GREGORY -
Just being a Negro doesn’t qualify you to understand the race situation any more than being sick makes you an expert on medicine.
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Home was a place to be only when all other places were closed.
DICK GREGORY -
Did you know that in New Orleans they still have brown bag parties? What’s that, you ask? You and I go to a party, and when we get to the door, there’s a brown bag hanging down from the ceiling, and if our skin is darker than the brown bag, we can’t go in.
DICK GREGORY -
You hear entertainers all the time, saying, ‘If I couldn’t get paid for this, I’d do it for free.’ When’s the last time you ever heard a business person say, ‘If I couldn’t get paid for being chairman of British Petroleum, I’d do it for free?’
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We thought I was going to be a great athlete, and we were wrong, and I thought I was going to be a great entertainer, and that wasn’t it either. I’m going to be an American Citizen. First-class.
DICK GREGORY