If they took all the drugs, nicotine, alcohol, and caffeine off the market for six days, they’d have to bring out the tanks to control you.
DICK GREGORYI personally believe breathatarianism to be the highest mode of human living breathing in pure air, absorbing the direct light and energies of the sun, bathing in pure water I look at the obituaries every morning and ain’t nobody listed but you eaters.
More Dick Gregory Quotes
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I used to get letters saying, ‘I didn’t know black children and white children were the same.’
DICK GREGORY -
In most places in the country, voting is looked upon as a right and a duty, but in Chicago, it’s a sport.
DICK GREGORY -
I tell people, ‘If you want to send a message to the White House, call my house.’
DICK GREGORY -
I personally would say that the quickest way to wipe out a group of people is to put them on a soul food diet.
DICK GREGORY -
Last time I was down South I walked into this restaurant, and this white waitress came up to me and said: ‘We don’t serve colored people here.’ I said: ‘that’s all right, I don’t eat colored people. Bring me a whole fried chicken.
DICK GREGORY -
You know why Madison Avenue advertising has never done well in Harlem? We’re the only ones who know what it means to be Brand X.
DICK GREGORY -
I’m not a comic. I’m a humorist.
DICK GREGORY -
When I was a boy, I was taught never to use insulting expressions like, ‘I’ve been gypped,’ or, ‘He welshed on the deal.’
DICK GREGORY -
We thought I was going to be a great athlete, and we were wrong, and I thought I was going to be a great entertainer, and that wasn’t it either. I’m going to be an American Citizen. First-class.
DICK GREGORY -
There is a limit on how much information you can keep bottled up.
DICK GREGORY -
The only good thing about the good old days is they’re gone.
DICK GREGORY -
Education means to bring out wisdom. Indoctrination means to push in knowledge.
DICK GREGORY -
It was an unwritten law that black comics were not permitted to work white nightclubs. You could sing and you could dance, but you couldn’t stand flat-footed and talk; that was a no-no.
DICK GREGORY -
I wouldn’t mind paying taxes – if I knew they were going to a friendly country.
DICK GREGORY -
I waited at the counter of a white restaurant for eleven years. When they finally integrated, they didn’t have what I wanted.
DICK GREGORY







