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I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.

Dick Gregory

There’s a God force inside of you that gives you a will to live.
DICK GREGORY

Force God Live Willing Yourself
Political promises are much like marriage vows. They are made at the beginning of the relationship between candidate and voter, but are quickly forgotten.
DICK GREGORY

Beginning Forget Marriage Politics Promise Relationship
My belief is, you know, certain things have to be explained that’s never been explained.
DICK GREGORY

Belief Explanation Myself
People with high blood pressure, diabetes – those are conditions brought about by lifestyle. If you change the lifestyle, those conditions will leave.
DICK GREGORY

Change Health Life People
America will tolerate the taking of a human life without giving it a second thought. But don’t misuse a household pet.
DICK GREGORY

Animal Human Life Tolerance
You know, I always say white is not a color, white is an attitude, and if you haven’t got trillions of dollars in the bank that you don’t need, you can’t be white.
DICK GREGORY

Attitude Money Need Yourself
Love is very dangerous if you just have love and don’t have the ability to be lovable.
DICK GREGORY

Ability Danger Deep Love Yourself
If they took all the drugs, nicotine, alcohol, and caffeine off the market for six days, they’d have to bring out the tanks to control you.
DICK GREGORY

Alcohol Control Yourself
Every door of racial prejudice I can kick down, is one less door that my children have to kick down.
DICK GREGORY

Children Oppression Race
It’s cool to be healthy.
DICK GREGORY

Health Instagram Captions One Liner
I’m not a comic. I’m a humorist.
DICK GREGORY

Career Laughter Myself
You hear entertainers all the time, saying, ‘If I couldn’t get paid for this, I’d do it for free.’ When’s the last time you ever heard a business person say, ‘If I couldn’t get paid for being chairman of British Petroleum, I’d do it for free?’
DICK GREGORY

Career Difference Freedom Time Yourself
Just being a Negro doesn’t qualify you to understand the race situation any more than being sick makes you an expert on medicine.
DICK GREGORY

Doctor Race Sick Understand Yourself
And we love to dance, especially that new one called the Civil War Twist. The Northern part of you stands still while the Southern part tries to secede.
DICK GREGORY

Dance Love War
We thought I was going to be a great athlete, and we were wrong, and I thought I was going to be a great entertainer, and that wasn’t it either. I’m going to be an American Citizen. First-class.
DICK GREGORY

Athlete Citizenship Greatness Myself Wrong
Coconut milk is the only thing on this planet that comes identically to mother’s milk.
DICK GREGORY

Food Mom

I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.

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I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.

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