I tell people, ‘If you want to send a message to the White House, call my house.’
DICK GREGORYI tell people, ‘If you want to send a message to the White House, call my house.’
DICK GREGORYWhen you have a good mother and no father, God kind of sits in. It’s not enough, but it helps.
DICK GREGORYTo me, seeing a really great comedian is a bit like watching a musician or a poet.
DICK GREGORYOnce I realized the value of making people laugh, I got very good at it. Fast.
DICK GREGORYBeing white is a job in America. You take that away, you better get the soldiers out.
DICK GREGORYWhen I lost my rifle, the Army charged me 85 dollars. That is why in the Navy the Captain goes down with the ship.
DICK GREGORYYou hear entertainers all the time, saying, ‘If I couldn’t get paid for this, I’d do it for free.’ When’s the last time you ever heard a business person say, ‘If I couldn’t get paid for being chairman of British Petroleum, I’d do it for free?’
DICK GREGORYWhen you’ve got something really good, you don’t have to force it on people. They will steal it!
DICK GREGORYI never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.
DICK GREGORYHome was a place to be only when all other places were closed.
DICK GREGORYI used to get letters saying, ‘I didn’t know black children and white children were the same.’
DICK GREGORYI’m not a comic. I’m a humorist.
DICK GREGORYIf democracy is such a good thing, let’s have more of it.
DICK GREGORYYou know, I always say white is not a color, white is an attitude, and if you haven’t got trillions of dollars in the bank that you don’t need, you can’t be white.
DICK GREGORYPolitical promises are much like marriage vows. They are made at the beginning of the relationship between candidate and voter, but are quickly forgotten.
DICK GREGORYI wouldn’t mind paying taxes – if I knew they were going to a friendly country.
DICK GREGORY