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If it wasn’t for Abe Lincoln, I’d still be on the open market.

Dick Gregory

Last time I was down South I walked into this restaurant, and this white waitress came up to me and said: ‘We don’t serve colored people here.’ I said: ‘that’s all right, I don’t eat colored people. Bring me a whole fried chicken.
DICK GREGORY

Eat Food Myself Oppression People Right Time
We used to root for the Indians against the cavalry because we didn’t think it was fair in the history books that when the cavalry won it was a great victory, and when the Indians won it was a massacre.
DICK GREGORY

Book Greatness History Thinking Victory Win
To me, seeing a really great comedian is a bit like watching a musician or a poet.
DICK GREGORY

Music Myself Poet
I’m not a comic. I’m a humorist.
DICK GREGORY

Career Laughter Myself
Just being a Negro doesn’t qualify you to understand the race situation any more than being sick makes you an expert on medicine.
DICK GREGORY

Doctor Race Sick Understand Yourself
And we love to dance, especially that new one called the Civil War Twist. The Northern part of you stands still while the Southern part tries to secede.
DICK GREGORY

Dance Love War
If all you can do is judge a person by their appearance because you don’t have the spirit to judge someone from within, you’re in trouble.
DICK GREGORY

Appearance Deep Judgement Person Spirit Yourself
You know, I always say white is not a color, white is an attitude, and if you haven’t got trillions of dollars in the bank that you don’t need, you can’t be white.
DICK GREGORY

Attitude Money Need Yourself
There’s a God force inside of you that gives you a will to live.
DICK GREGORY

Force God Live Willing Yourself
Riches do not delight us so much with their possession, as torment us with their loss.
DICK GREGORY

Attachment Deep Loss Rich
Political promises are much like marriage vows. They are made at the beginning of the relationship between candidate and voter, but are quickly forgotten.
DICK GREGORY

Beginning Forget Marriage Politics Promise Relationship
I never thought I’d see the day that I would see white folks as frightened, or more so than black folks was during the civil rights movement when we were in Mississippi.
DICK GREGORY

Black Myself People Right Scare See
I personally believe breathatarianism to be the highest mode of human living breathing in pure air, absorbing the direct light and energies of the sun, bathing in pure water I look at the obituaries every morning and ain’t nobody listed but you eaters.
DICK GREGORY

Believe Breathe Human Light Live Morning Myself Sun
In America, with all of its evils and faults, you can still reach through the forest and see the sun. But we don’t know yet whether that sun is rising or setting for our country.
DICK GREGORY

Deep Evil Ourselves See Sun Yourself
It was an unwritten law that black comics were not permitted to work white nightclubs. You could sing and you could dance, but you couldn’t stand flat-footed and talk; that was a no-no.
DICK GREGORY

Black Dance Law Sing Talk Writing
Love is very dangerous if you just have love and don’t have the ability to be lovable.
DICK GREGORY

Ability Danger Deep Love Yourself

If it wasn’t for Abe Lincoln, I’d still be on the open market.

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If it wasn’t for Abe Lincoln, I’d still be on the open market.

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Popular Authors

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