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If it wasn’t for Abe Lincoln, I’d still be on the open market.

Dick Gregory

I tell people, ‘If you want to send a message to the White House, call my house.’
DICK GREGORY

Home Myself People
When you have a good mother and no father, God kind of sits in. It’s not enough, but it helps.
DICK GREGORY

Enough Father Goodness Help Mom Yourself
To me, seeing a really great comedian is a bit like watching a musician or a poet.
DICK GREGORY

Music Myself Poet
Once I realized the value of making people laugh, I got very good at it. Fast.
DICK GREGORY

Goodness Laugh Myself People Value
Being white is a job in America. You take that away, you better get the soldiers out.
DICK GREGORY

Fight Job Yourself
When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me 85 dollars. That is why in the Navy the Captain goes down with the ship.
DICK GREGORY

Funny Lost Money Myself Weapon
You hear entertainers all the time, saying, ‘If I couldn’t get paid for this, I’d do it for free.’ When’s the last time you ever heard a business person say, ‘If I couldn’t get paid for being chairman of British Petroleum, I’d do it for free?’
DICK GREGORY

Career Difference Freedom Time Yourself
When you’ve got something really good, you don’t have to force it on people. They will steal it!
DICK GREGORY

Force Goodness People Yourself
I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.
DICK GREGORY

Believe Darkness Myself
Home was a place to be only when all other places were closed.
DICK GREGORY

Home Place
I used to get letters saying, ‘I didn’t know black children and white children were the same.’
DICK GREGORY

Black Children Myself Oppression
I’m not a comic. I’m a humorist.
DICK GREGORY

Career Laughter Myself
If democracy is such a good thing, let’s have more of it.
DICK GREGORY

Democracy Goodness
You know, I always say white is not a color, white is an attitude, and if you haven’t got trillions of dollars in the bank that you don’t need, you can’t be white.
DICK GREGORY

Attitude Money Need Yourself
Political promises are much like marriage vows. They are made at the beginning of the relationship between candidate and voter, but are quickly forgotten.
DICK GREGORY

Beginning Forget Politics Promise Relationship
I wouldn’t mind paying taxes – if I knew they were going to a friendly country.
DICK GREGORY

Country Friendship Mindset Myself Pay

If it wasn’t for Abe Lincoln, I’d still be on the open market.

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If it wasn’t for Abe Lincoln, I’d still be on the open market.

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