I’m not a comic. I’m a humorist.
DICK GREGORYPoor is a state of mind you never grow out of, but being broke is just a temporary condition.
More Dick Gregory Quotes
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When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me 85 dollars. That is why in the Navy the Captain goes down with the ship.
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When I go through the airport and see white women walking through the airport barefooted, like athlete’s feet don’t exist, there’s something wrong.
DICK GREGORY -
In most places in the country, voting is looked upon as a right and a duty, but in Chicago, it’s a sport.
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In America, with all of its evils and faults, you can still reach through the forest and see the sun. But we don’t know yet whether that sun is rising or setting for our country.
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The only good thing about the good old days is they’re gone.
DICK GREGORY -
Revolution ain’t nothing but an extent of evolution; Evolution is a fact of nature.
DICK GREGORY -
You hear entertainers all the time, saying, ‘If I couldn’t get paid for this, I’d do it for free.’ When’s the last time you ever heard a business person say, ‘If I couldn’t get paid for being chairman of British Petroleum, I’d do it for free?’
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Hell hath no fury like a liberal scorned.
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Makes you wonder. When I left St. Louis, I was making five dollars a night. Now I’m getting $5,000 a week — for saying the same things out loud I used to say under my breath.
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My belief is, you know, certain things have to be explained that’s never been explained.
DICK GREGORY -
Just being a Negro doesn’t qualify you to understand the race situation any more than being sick makes you an expert on medicine.
DICK GREGORY -
If they took all the drugs, nicotine, alcohol, and caffeine off the market for six days, they’d have to bring out the tanks to control you.
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I tell people, ‘If you want to send a message to the White House, call my house.’
DICK GREGORY -
Education means to bring out wisdom. Indoctrination means to push in knowledge.
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No kid in the world, no woman in the world should ever raise a hand against a no-good daddy. That’s already been taken care of: A Man Who Destroys His Own Home Shall Inherit the Wind.
DICK GREGORY