Great humorists are great insulters.
DICK CAVETTI don’t feel old. I feel like a young man that has something wrong with him.
More Dick Cavett Quotes
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Every time I nostalgically try to regain my liking of John McCain, he reaches into his sleaze bag and pulls out something malodorous.
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As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.
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I think I’d be pretty easy to write for.
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I don’t see the future as bright, language-wise. I see it as a glass half empty – and evaporating quickly.
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My dream was maybe someday, one night I can be a guest on a talk show, and then I will have achieved everything I want.
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I have yet to see one of those Comedy Central shows with multiple standup comics that doesn’t include someone the size of the Hindenburg.
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I’ll be happy if I can just stay out of Nebraska.
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I’m sure I’ve all but lost friends by maintaining that, despite their love for it, I always saw Stanley Kramer’s ‘It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World’ as more of an exercise in anti-comedy than humor.
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I feel sorry for the poor kids whose parents feel they’re qualified to teach them at home. Of course, some parents are smarter than some teachers, but in the main I see home-schooling as misguided foolishness.
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Why are sex and violence always linked? I’m afraid they’ll blur together in people’s minds – sexandviolence – until we can’t tell them apart. I expect to hear a newscaster say, “The mob became unruly and the police were forced to resort to sex.”
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The Nixon administration kept a nasty eye on our show… Cops would come by – often just in time to see the act they wanted to see.
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Electronic devices dislike me. There is never a day when something isn’t ailing.
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Censorship feeds the dirty mind more than the four-letter word itself.
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Coming up through the ranks of any calling can be rough, but that battered soul who survives the early years of courting the comic muse comes close to knowing what only the soldier knows: What combat is like.
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Being the offspring of English teachers is a mixed blessing. When the film star says to you, on the air, ‘It was a perfect script for she and I,’ inside your head you hear, in the sarcastic voice of your late father, ‘Perfect for she, eh? And perfect for I, also?’
DICK CAVETT