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I don’t feel old. I feel like a young man that has something wrong with him.

Dick Cavett

While other kids were out playing and doing healthy things, I read an ancient judo book with a neck hold that was fatal to so many people they finally dropped it from judo.
DICK CAVETT

Book Children Fatal Myself Neck Reading
Does anything show the complexity of the miraculous brain more than that weird curiosity, the sleep-protection dream?
DICK CAVETT

Complex Curiosity Dreams Protection Weird
You can, after all, reduce the reasons for watching TV to but two: to be lulled, and to be stimulated. Some people do one sometimes, the other sometimes. Some people do all of one or all of the other.
DICK CAVETT

People Reason Television Watch
I’m not freakishly short. I had, on my show, used shortness as a joke subject; it didn’t really bother me.
DICK CAVETT

Joke Myself Short Show Subject
I am always shocked that there are still a handful of defenders of the dubious practice of abstinence, surely the worst idea since chocolate-covered ants.
DICK CAVETT

Chocolate Hands Ideas Myself Practice Shock Worst
Great humorists are great insulters.
DICK CAVETT

Great Humor Insult
The authority of depression is horrifying. I felt like my brain was busted and that I could never feel good again. I really thought that I was never gonna heal.
DICK CAVETT

Authority Depression Feeling Horrible
In relative youth, we assume we’ll remember everything. Someone should urge the young to think otherwise.
DICK CAVETT

Relative Remember Thinking Youth
I get a kick out of people saying I was funny.
DICK CAVETT

Funny Myself People
You would have to be naive to think you can appear on television and not have the material edited in some way.
DICK CAVETT

Appearance Material Naive Television Thinking Way Yourself
It’s no fun being a specimen.
DICK CAVETT

Fun One Liner Specimen
I live a sensible life. You know, I don’t take on too much.
DICK CAVETT

Life Live Myself
When I’m doing an appearance somewhere and taking questions from the audience, I can always count on: ‘Tell about the guy who died on your show!’
DICK CAVETT

Appearance Count Death Show Talk Yourself
I have never been converted to or even had much interest in spiritualism, occultism, Swedenborgianism or any particular religion. And I never, except occasionally for a laugh, visit the quacks who call themselves psychics.
DICK CAVETT

Call Exception Interest Laughter Myself Religion
I feel sorry for the poor kids whose parents feel they’re qualified to teach them at home. Of course, some parents are smarter than some teachers, but in the main I see home-schooling as misguided foolishness.
DICK CAVETT

Children Feeling Fools Guide Home Parents Poor Smart
If your parents never had children, chances are neither will you.
DICK CAVETT

Children Parents Yourself

I don’t feel old. I feel like a young man that has something wrong with him.

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I don’t feel old. I feel like a young man that has something wrong with him.

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